You Are Responsible for Your Own Emotional Control


There are two main reasons for my putting so much emphasis on the management of frustration and stress.  First of all, I consider this skill to be one of CFOs and Controllers' prerequisites for efficient functionality: if you don't get a grip on your own emotions you cannot manage the multitude of your tasks at the level that will satisfy your own high standards.  Secondly, this may be the only responsibility that you cannot delegate.  Whatever method of self-control and frustration release you use, you are the only one who can recognize the symptoms and initiate the process.

And in that respect I am in agreement with the recent article on AOL Health by Stephanie Twelto Jacob with a terribly corny title Happiness Roadblocks and a lot of new-age-y formulas that a sensible reader will be able to weed out easily.  I mean, even if you take Aristotle's thought about path to happiness as your initial thesis, it doesn't mean that you should tailor your entire article to fit the narrow interpretation of its language.

Shortcomings aside, I found four sensible points in this article that match my own concept of psychological self-management and fit perfectly into this blog's discussions of work-related frustration and anxiety.  Here are my interpretations:

1.  Choosing to expect the worst at all times in order to avoid disappointments (the policy I've been employing for years myself – guilty as charged) creates not only psychological, but also, through stress-related chemical reactions, physical effects on us.  Plainly speaking, it keeps our bodies in a constant adrenaline overdrive.

2.  I hear my colleagues talking all the time about someone else working at half the effort for twice as much money, having expense accounts, better insurances, larger bonuses, etc, etc.  Comparing your difficult life to somebody's supposed perfect existence creates unnecessary additional frustration.  Don't contrast and compare.  Most likely these people's lives are not as rosy as you perceive it.  Trust me – life is a difficult exercise for everybody.  More importantly, spending your emotional energy on this imaginary competition is a waste of your own valuable resources.

3.  Accepting the unfairness of life is the best defensive mechanism available to us. When things are not based on equality and justice it does not necessarily mean that you always loose.  My intended audience is supposed to consist of educated people in senior management and executive positions.  In comparison to people with the same intellectual capacity who were not able to go to college and graduate schools and be eligible to work in free-market society, we are not doing that bad even if we didn't have connections or luck to become multi-millionaires.

4.  Stop looking for substitution of contentment.  It is not your boss's, your subordinates', your spouse's, your kid's or your new purchase's job to make you feel better about yourselves.  Nobody but yourself truly knows who you are and what your value is.  It is you who possess that intelligence, that expertise, that volume of knowledge and you know your worthiness.  Be proud of your own achievements.      

Quote of the Day


"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
                                                                       Ayn Rand "Atlas Shrugged"

Valuable Advice by HR Capitalist


I highly recommend this yesterday's post from HR Capitalist.  His behavioral insights are applicable to everyone in a senior management position, including all CFOs, Controllers and other financial professionals.

Leadership Means You Cut Out the Negative Body Language… 

Remote Boss: CFOs & Controllers’ Dream


Don't get me wrong, I don't like global generalizations.  There is nothing wrong with logical patterns and trends, but it doesn't mean that they encompass ALL people and ALL situations.  So, when I talk about, for example, entrepreneurs or financial execs in general terms I don't mean "every single one."  I mean, the majority of the group.   The majority of entrepreneurs are brilliant, but some of them are just lucky.  The majority of small business CFO's are pedants, but some of them are slobs, and so on.

There are entrepreneurs who are very conscious of their breed's tendencies to squash and frustrate their subordinate execs.  They go out of the way to engage in counter-measures and employ the best of managerial techniques.  Therefore, there are CFO's out there who truly enjoy constant interactions with their CEO's.  Throughout my career I myself have experienced long stretches of time when my boss's personal traveling seemed like a disruption in the work flow, occasional frustration notwithstanding.

However, even those who enjoy the most amicable of relationships, cannot deny that they feel more relaxed and efficient, less frustrated doing their jobs, when the bosses are away, or when financial execs are traveling on business themselves. 

Thus, my correspondent J. has the best job in the world.  It was not set out to be such a fortunate arrangement, but various factors played their roles in shaping the way things are right now.  J, who is an asset-based finance specialist, works by herself on the East Coast, running all operational and administrative functions of a small but very profitable private equity fund, while the founding partners are based on the West Coast.

On an average day J. is in the office by herself, doing her job in completely undisturbed environment.  And she is one of the most balanced and upbeat persons I've ever met altogether, let alone the financial professionals. 

She speaks to one of the partners only on the rarest occasions, when there is something wrong with one or another investment.  The other partner is more hands on: he is responsible for due diligence process of all portfolio prospects.  He also comes to the East Coast office once a quarter when their lender's audit is finalized to have a wrap-up lunch with J. and the  lender's representative. 

A perfect dream set up.  How do I know?  Because J. is never frustrated with her bosses.  I tell her, "It would not be the same, if they were here in the same office with you."  And she agrees – it wouldn't.