July 2012 – Page 2 – The Frustrated CFO

Who Is Your Favorite Avenger?

I cannot really call myself a comics fan just because I am familiar with the names and overall stories of the most famous characters. That’s just popular culture saturation. I know some real devotees, and those people can discuss different genres, know the names of artists, aware of obscure series, and dissect the aesthetics of comics with the same depth I apply to theater, cinema, or literature. Yet, I do appreciate the idea of a superhero, a human with extraordinary abilities and skills. In a sense, Ayn Rand‘s John Galt is a superhero. Some of the stories written by comics’ authors are just as dark and prophetic. And, I’ve seen the original drawings of the best creators: there is no question in my mind – it’s art.

On the other hand, cinematic interpretations of graphic novels, the money-making machines of Marvel and DC Comics, rarely measure up to the original sources. I don’t even remember when was the last time that I saw a comic-based movie on a big screen… Until this summer’s release of Joss Whedon‘s The Avengers.

I’ve always had a weak spot for Joss Whedon’s creative powers. His visions, both phantasmagorical and futuristic, yet so human, are among my guilty pleasures. Amazingly, the man is capable of making all sorts of creatures sexy and soulful. After all, he brought vampires with various personality traits into our lives way before the recent wave of the blood-sucking hype. He is to current supernatural TV programming, what Nirvana is to contemporary Rock.

Stephenie Meyer may list Shakespeare and Jane Austin as influences for her deplorable writing all she wants; and the story how the idea of love between a human girl and a vampire came to her in a dream on June 2, 2003 is a great PR ploy. But isn’t it uncanny that Joss Whedon aired the last episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer series on May 20, 2003. Maybe the young Mormon wife and mother was simply missing Buffy’s heat.

So, because it’s written and directed by Joss Whedon, I went to see The Avengers… And it was very entertaining, exhilarating, sufficiently layered for those who want to look beneath the surface, and accessible to those who just want to have fun – in other words, it was very Joss Whedon. I mean, who else would be able to take the Incredible Hulk and not only accentuate the character’s original traits, but make him even more tragic, brilliant, powerful, soulful… and funny?

Yeah, the Incredible Hulk as interpreted by Joss Whedon – oh boy, do I relate to that character, or what? I mean, “That’s my secret, captain. I’m always angry,” – it’s like he went into my head and read it on my cerebral cortex. Always angry, but in control most of the time. Well, in my case, practically all the time, trying to channel the frustration through writing, cursing at the toilet bowl, or stomping on a piece of paper; only wishing that I could unleash the anger for real.

When I just started this blog, I took time to explain in several posts my take on frustration and its management. In one of them, I nominated John McEnroe as the frustration release hero . And, he definitely is that, but if I were to expand my search pool beyond mere humans… Joss Whedon’s Dr. Banner/Hulk definitely takes the first prize – reserved, humble, unstoppable when angered by bad guys, and with a sense of humor regardless of his physical/mental state.

Watching him handling Loki’s arrogance was probably one of the most satisfying therapeutic experiences I’ve had in a long time. For a hot second I felt avenged. Oh, how I yearn for an ability to do that to some people! In fact, I think it would work for me even better than Darth Vader’s management style.

Quote of the Week: The Mechanics of a Tortured Soul

"The Idler Wheel Is Wiser

Than the Driver of the Screw

And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More

Than Ropes Will Ever Do."

Fiona Apple

Newsflash: More on the Health Care Reform Law

For those who, like me, focus only on the foremost aspects of the federal government's new legislative moves and don't pore over every single detail, on the premise that we cannot do anything about it anyway, here is a follow-up to my last week's post on the subject. A few "minor" details that may directly affect many of my readers and the rest of the fast-disappearing middle class (maybe we should start studying the minutia more carefully after all):

1. Effective January 1, 2013 (never mind that the main conditions of this reform are intended for 2014), employee's Medicare tax goes up from 1.45% to 2.35% for all wages over $200,000 a year ($250,000 for joint filers). The employers' portion remains to be 1.45%.

2. The 3.8% levy, imposed on all passive income, including interest, dividends, annuities, royalties, rents, and capital gains of individuals with adjusted gross income over $200,000 ($250,000 for joint filers) in order to subsidize health benefits for unemployed and low-income population, goes into effect as of January 1, 2013 as well. Some of my readers may be interested to know that under this ruling even the private equity moguls with over $50 million in annual income will end up dropping $2 million into the subsidy purse.

[Side note: I could never understand why royalties and license fees one receives for the book or song she wrote, or a video game she programmed, or the invention she patented are classified as a passive income. Trust me, creating intellectual property is hard work. I always believed that these earnings should not be categorized as passive as long as the property is still in the hands of the original creator. If it's sold away (like the rights to The Beatles' songs), that's a different story.]

3. 2012 will be the last year when the limits of employees' contributions into Health Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA) will be determined by employers. Starting with January 1, 2013, the federal government will limit these pre-tax wage deferrals for out-of-pocket medical, dental, and vision expenses. While employers historically used the percentage-of-salary method, the government established the ceiling of $2,500 per year, regardless of the person's earnings and/or medical needs.

So, if your estimated annual expenses, not covered by the insurance policy (including all co-payments, glasses, root canals and crowns), are $6,000, you will pay the $3,500 with the after-tax net earnings. And, unless your total household income is less than $46K, you will not be able to deduct a penny of it on your tax return (due to the 7.5% medical deduction floor).

What can I say to you, my dear well-educated and hard-working middle class? Good luck surviving!

The Second Quarter Financial Results, or They Always Kill the Messengers

Believe it or not, but we've already passed the mid-point of 2012. While the foretold Armageddon is not upon us just yet (most likely due to the inaccuracy of our calendar), the immediate future of many CFOs can be predicted with a confident certainty: the second quarter financial results will be due in a couple of weeks.

Let's face it, this was not an easy fiscal period. Whether large or small, businesses were affected by the volatility of the international markets, the slowdown of commercial demand, plunges in both commodities' prices and consumer confidence. Even the bigwigs at Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan, the conjurors of "facts" that prevent trading markets from falling apart, had to admit today that "the recovery slowed in the second quarter" and downgrade their projections.

What recovery, you clowns? Anyway, those of us running actual businesses know: the quarter was mostly downsloping, choppy, and unhealthy. This will translate into smaller revenues, narrower profit margins, and, for many, losses.

The Frustrated CFO always feels doubly agitated about subpar performance results (obviously, antsy enough to talk about herself in the third person). On a big-scale, as a small-business crusader, I am worried that with every difficult fiscal quarter the possibility of our economy getting back on the right track, with entrepreneurship reclaiming its rightful status as a backbone of capitalism, becomes less and less real.

And then there is an apprehension of inevitable consequences for all financial chiefs of privately-held companies (myself including), who cannot avoid playing the part of the bad-news heralds.

Regardless of the nature and the size of a company, the main recipients of its performance results are owners/investors. For public companies these are millions of faceless institutional and individual stock-market gamblers. The publication of financial information by these companies is mandated by law and governed by SEC.

When the picture is bleak, the Boards of Directors, terrified by the possibility of a sell-off and devalue of the stock (first and foremost, their own holdings), frequently spring into action to show the world that they are "doing something about it." This usually amounts to moving the pawns on the corporate chessboard: we regularly hear about dismissals of CEOs and COOs perceived to be responsible for the failures. At the same time, unless they are caught together with their auditors cooking the books, the big-time CFOs are rarely publicly flogged.

Private businesses operate in an entirely different universe. Here, people responsible for financial reporting, CFOs and Controllers, daily face their owners/investors. The entire chain of delivering the message is reduced to a single step. Here you are with your perfectly accurate, yet unpleasant, reports and there, on the other side of the table, or on the other end of an email link, are the owners/executives.

And, even though everyone in the room understands that you cannot possibly be singly responsible for the business's poor performance; that it is a result of many contributing factors; that the CEO herself disregarded your loud warnings and fucked up several crucial deals – the bosses invariably follow their first impulse to lash out against somebody. At that initial moment of disappointment, there is no better a scapegoat than you, the news-bearer. As if on cue, the bosses turn into cranky babies and throw pointless tantrums. The funniest thing that ever happened to me was when the President wanted to see the general ledger details and "check the numbers."

Eventually, of course, they come down, and become reasonable. If you've earned their respect and got their ear, they would listen to your analysis and accept your improvements proposals. The thing is, though, we are human too and no matter how well we hold it together, the hurt of that initial heraldic punishments stays with us.

The Queen's Herald

Quote of the Week: Scully’s Wisdom

Download 05 X-Files Theme (Dado Paranormal Activity Mix)

"Mulder, the truth is out there… but so are lies."

Agent Scully, The X-Files

Created by Chris Carter

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