Quote of the Week: Life Is a Cruel Joke


Fiona-Shaw-in-The-Waste-L-001"Everybody in this room is going be dead in a hundred years!  When a baby dies, people get very sad.  But a baby hasn't yet fallen in love with the world.  When we've fallen in love with the world, then what do we do?  It's absolutely awful."

                    Fiona Shaw

Quote of the Week: The Genius of Showtime’s “Shameless” Defines “The American Dream”


Lip Gallagher:

It’s like I said, the only way to make money if you are poor is to steal it or scam it.  But, hey, let me know if the rules are changing…”

                   Shameless (episode 3.2, written by Nancy Pimental)

The Frustrated CFO’s commentary:

If you take this opinion of a 17 year-old genius with a 4.6 GPA and an IQ of 200 out of its literal white-trash, destitute, semi-criminal settings, you will find the undeniable metaphorical truth in it.  Both Lip (too wise for his age, thanks to the middle-aged screenwriter) and I are aware of the American Dream reality as it stands right now.  No matter how talented and hard-working a person is, he or she will not be able to achieve the recognition his abilities merit if he doesn’t have the “right” background and connections that can push complete retards through the doors closed to regular people.  There is no such thing as a “self-made man” anymore.  Most of the time those who say that about themselves mean that they had less money when they started then they have now.  But no doubt there was a phone call, or a letter, or a conversation over drinks, or some old-farts reunion that gave him a start.  Not even a degree from a fancy college can beat that.  In the grand scheme of things, there is not much difference between Lip, Fiona, their father, a young talented doctor with a residency in some Bumblefuck, the first-in-the-family MBA, an artist or a writer with no connects, or me. 

CFO Folklore: Mortal Kombat – CEO vs. Outlook, FIGHT!


MK 3I am the biggest advocate of an entrepreneurial CEO's freedom from any administrative, technological, and infrastructural minutiae.  They must not busy themselves with making their own reports or calculations in Excel, devising organizational routines, catering to bankers' demands, nurturing relationships with customers, etc.  They have functional executives and senior management for that – CFOs, COOs, CIOs, Controllers, Sales VPs, etc. 

An effectual CEO should be focused almost exclusively on the strategic development of the business and the tactical decisions pertaining to the company's survival and prosperity.  Therefore, he may be, but  doesn't need to be an Excel pro, an IT geek (unless, of course, that's the business), a bullshitting ace, or a financing maverick.  He must be a visionary – that's all.  I stated my position on this issue multiple times and dedicated an entire post to the defense of CEO's limited scope of responsibilities.  I even wrote about it in CFO Techniques.      

I have to say, though, when it comes to technology, for most CEOs outside of the high-tech industry, it's not even the result of division of labor -there's some sort of a pervasive impairment.  Most business owners I know personally or have heard about from other people are not very technologically advanced, to put it mildly. 

There are CEOs who call for help every time they need to insert a column in a table; are incapable of  logging onto a network; and wouldn't touch scanners even if they stand right on their desks.  And that's Ok.  As I said, they don't have to trouble their valuable heads with these things as long as they attend to their primary job and manage to be brilliant at it. 

However, we do live in the second decade of the 21st century and some level of sophistication in the ways of contemporary communication is simply required.  It has nothing to do with being a small business owner, a big-time CEO, or The President.  This is one area of technological advancement, where everyone at a certain point had to overcome their innate resistance to novelties and get on with the program.  Radio, telegraph, telephone, video transmission, cellular connection, etc. – they have simply become mundane tools of every-day existence.   

Nowadays, using electronics as a means of organizing your life and exchanging information is as elementary as turning the pages of an old-fashioned desktop calendar.  And if you don't know how to do it, it makes you look silly and inadequate; it's simply unbecoming for a business leader. 

I currently have a client who comes to the office on Saturdays and Sundays because he cannot follow instructions on how to access his business emails remotely or push them through his iPhone.  His partners, employees, and commercial associates laugh about it behind his back.  It's likely that these inadequacies have an impact on their overall attitudes towards this business owner.

But I am particularly annoyed with those CEOs who are not able to utilize Outlook beyond the most primitive actions of receiving and sending emails.  I mean, for businesses operating in the PC environment, the program has become one of the most vital cross-functional tools since 1997!

I am currently exposed to one of these.  At this point I've already resigned myself to the sad fact that she will never learn how to accept or reject meeting invitations.  I wouldn't even dream of her creating one herself.  She will never get rid of her humongous appointment book, which, due to its instrumental limitations, is incapable of reminding her of important events or tasks at hand.  However, emails are her life, she lives and breathes them.  Wouldn't she treat them with proper care?  Guess again.

The other day she comes over to my office and asks if I still have "that email about…" (the subject matter is irrelevant).  Of course, I do.  She is standing right next to me looking at my screen, prepared to read the email with me when I find it.  I switch to Outlook, which is opened, as always, on the Inbox.  There are maybe 10 emails there, which arrived in the last 30 minutes.  "Where are all the emails?!" she is utterly surprised, "I keep all important emails.  I've got hundreds of them."  "So do I," I reply, "But not in the Inbox, of course."  I slide to my Navigation Pane, go straight to one of my 30 subject folders.

She is not stupid and she is a pretty good CEO.  She understands the importance of time-saving tools.  But she is too proud.  She will not ask me or any of her employees how to do it.  And so, she continues searching through hundreds of messages in her Inbox.             

Quote of the Week: Why Self-Therapy?


THE-MENTALIST-The-Red-Box-4The Frustrated CFO's Preface:

After reading my Means of Self-Therapy post from a week ago, some bleeding hearts felt obligated to ask me, "Why not conventional therapy?"  I have to put my answer in a quote form, so that some TV addicts don't accuse me of plagiarism.  This is what actually happened.  I've been saying this shit for years and then one night, hit by insomnia, I accidentally stumbled on a random episode of The Mentalist, in which Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) repeated my sentiment about therapy (and doctors in general) verbatim.  Whoa!  It was eerie: the TV mentalist seemed to be a real mentalist, reading my mind.

"Psychiatrist: You don't like talking to doctors?

Jane: They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they?  When in fact that's me, obviously."

                                                The Mentalist, Episode 2.3

                                                written by Ashley Gable                                                               


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The Frustrated CFO's Means of Self-Therapy