“We Are Good Bosses,” Says One Boss to Another


Screaming BossSo, that's how these people manage to live with their own shitty selves!  They walk around with a clear conscience; with no doubt in their souls about their actions.  They don't think about the injustices and the insults of different caliber they spread around with every step they take.  They don't even qualify them as injusticies and insults.  Instead, they pat each other on the backs and tell themselves that they are good bosses!  Their self-delusion probably goes even further: I am terrified to think about it, but they might have convinced themselves that they are good people.  Honestly, the idea of these people going through their lives thinking that they are saints makes my skin itch on the inside.  

To tell you the truth, I prefer honest assholes, like the ones whose primary traits are itemized in the list provided by the Time's article attached on the bottom of this post.  They are at least somewhat conscious of their attitudes and  justify their behavior with the "business necessity."  You know: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do – that sort of thing.  I also think that self-aware bastards are less casual with their cruelty.  Unless they are real sadists, they apply it knowingly and, therefore, sparingly.  

The conversation quoted in the title is not an allegory: I actually had the misfortune of witnessing it.  I had to summon all my will power not to burst out laughing at these jerks.  I've had pangs of suspicion that many business owners felt good about themselves, but this was the first time one of them actually voiced such self-deception in my presence.  Why was it so bitterly funny?  Because, the statement was prompted by their finally adapting a pension plan they promised their employees two years ago

These are employers who pick favorites and treat them with an obvious preference, while discriminating against others.  They forget to disclose new commercial initiatives, thus forcing everyone to run against time in order to turn their ideas into business realities.  They will not hesitate to make a "good-natured" joke at an employee's expense or brazenly comment on someone's deficiency.  The list can go on, and on, and on, and on…  What can I say?  Swell guys! 

But let's see.  What are (in my opinion) the attributes of a really Good Boss???

1.  Fairness and objectivity; no bullshit like, "I don't like that bitch's personality, so I don't care if she's going to leave, even if it'll hurt my company."

2.  Dedication to a merit-based system of rewards comprised of both tangible and moral incentives.

3.  Intelligence and business acumen that perpetuates the company's success and keeps employees gratified that they don't work for an incompetent idiot.

4.  High performance standards applied equally to everyone – first and foremost to his/her own work.

5.  Capacity to fully comprehend the abilities and  values of their direct reports.

6.  Sufficient organizational savvy to match subordinates' abilities with functional tasks.

7.  Acceptance of personal responsibility as a job-creator and human-resources leader.

8.  Strong emphasis on the development of employees' know-how and professional growth.

9.  Balanced combination of delegation and efficient supervision; none of that hands-off micromanagement crap I write so much about.

10.  An actual effort to understand people working for the company.

11.  Sufficient tact and self-confidence (!) to prevent casual personal insults, usually resulting from deeply seated insecurity.

12.  And this one is just for me: For once in my life I would like to work for someone with a good memory, because I'm fucking fed up with their forgetting time after time the stuff I say, write, and report to them.   

So, my dear business owners and other chiefs, try to test your performance against the criteria above and see how you do.  None of the "good bosses" I know would score enough for a "D" grade.

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9 Core Beliefs of Truly Horrible Bosses

Big Picture and Staff Training


Closely-held entrepreneurial companies always have some flair of secrecy.  The Owners' lives are intertwined with the businesses and because of that they apply personal privacy rights to everything, including the company's commercial and organizational matters.  This frequently leads to "need-to-know-only" modus operandi when dealing with employees. 

CFOs, Controllers, Directors of Finance are expected to act in the same secretive manner.  And I am not talking about non-disclosure of commercial secrets, compensation details, or owners withholdings – these matters are confidential by definition.  I am talking about organizational structure, commercial partnerships, new financial relationships, transactional details, new venture plans, etc.

The owners who insist on such covertness make a mistake of disregarding the natural human instinct of their employees to fill in the blanks.  In the absence of actual information they will cook up their own assumptions about concealed matters. 

You wouldn't believe what kind of wild baseless fantasies I sometimes uncover: non-existing silent partners, astronomical sales volumes, mythical lines of side business.  In one of my previous employments people even assumed that I was a member of the owner's family on account of my loyalty and strict work ethics. 

That's just laughable, but there are far more serious impacts of secretiveness: people don't understand the mission of the organization, the commercial scope, the structure, the value chain.  Most importantly, they cannot grasp their own place and relevance in the system.       

The unfortunate effect of this disconnect is mechanistic disinterested performance instead of meaningful work.  On one hand, the bosses insist that their employees are kept in the dark, and on the other hand, they would like to see high efficiency and productivity – impossible to coexist.

I have managed to convince most of bosses that while keeping the actual confidential information secret, it is absolutely crucial to provide my subordinates with the Big Picture and their place in it.  I consider this to be the most important step in staff training and development.  You will be wasting your time trying to teach your employees how to apply their expertise and education to the tasks you need them to perform if they don't know why these tasks are important for the company's, and consequently, their own prosperity.

When explaining their role and place in the Big Picture, I frequently tell the employees that the company doesn't employ them to pay salaries.  It is actually other way around: if the company could operate without the employees jobs done, we would gladly do so and save the money we pay as compensation . But it is crucial for the company that the jobs are done well and that is why the employees are retained and paid.  You will be surprised: it is not as clear to most people as you could expect.