Tag: Controllers

What is Frustration?


Well, what kind of a psychological animal is Frustration? Is it a cognitive and somatic ailment such as anxiety or a mental disorder such as depression? 

Those exposed to your expressing the frustration would like you to think that there is definitely something wrong with you.  But no, feeling frustrated because of legitimate agitating factors doesn’t mean that you are ill and need to seek medical attention. 

As the matter of fact Frustration is nothing more than a normal emotional reaction to opposition, restriction, obstacles – anything that we perceive to contradict with our will, goals, purpose, plans, schedules, etc.  It is sometimes referred to as problem-response behavior.  There is a problem and the frustration is the first-response signal.  

Sometimes we are frustrated with ourselves.  Procrastination and indecisiveness are the biggest causes of self-dissatisfaction for most people.  However, overachievers who reach top level positions in corporate finance and accounting, the CFOs, Controllers, VPs, Directors, especially in smaller companies, are unlikely candidates for lazy postponements.  And even if, for whatever reason, it happens to us, we are usually capable to control it and use the frustration with ourselves as a motivational tool.

No, our causes of frustration are primarily external.  When you have allocated your already extended working hours to 10 urgent tasks that must be tackled today, and then your Boss wanders into your office and you have to listen for 2 hours to his blubbering about his workout regimen, the time loss is beyond your control and the frustration is further intensified by your inability to throw him out.

When you give an urgent assignment to your employee, explaining its importance and value to the company’s big picture, and  an hour later come over to check the progress and provide further advice only to see her scrolling through boots on Zappos.com, the frustration makes your blood boil in your veins.

When you schedule a meeting with the VP of Sales to discuss the failure to meet volume targets for four months in a row and he is not there 30 minutes past the appointment, evil scenarios invade your frustrated mind.

So, feeling frustrated is natural.  However, the way we act while frustrated depends on our personality, self-awareness, self-control and our psychological makeup. 

The most frequent reactive mechanism is aggression.  Whether we immediately explode at the source of frustration, or wait until we are alone and transfer our anger on an inanimate object, or  get home and take it out on the innocent members of our families – it’s pretty much the same response.

In some cases frustrated people engage in a passive-aggressive behavior.  You’ve seen it many times over: a person puts on a sullen expression and starts procrastinating, obstructing, failing to meet the expectations, etc.  I am sure most of us not only observed it, but also had an episode or two ourselves.

It takes a lot of experience, self-control and tremendous will power to resist this behavioral patterns related to frustration and force yourself instead into constructive removal of the obstacle or resolution of the irritating circumstances.  And, unfortunately, even if we can function reasonably on the outside, it doesn’t mean that the psychological disturbance inside goes away.

In the next couple of posts I hope to share with you few coping devices that I have accumulated over the years myself as well as discuss the relation of frustration to anxiety and stress conditions.   

 

      


One CFO’s Personal Tools for Frustration Relief


So, my fellow CFO’s and Controllers, as promised in my previous post, here are the few tricks I use to privately release my frustration after calmly presenting the composed image to the rest of the world.  They are in no specific order.  I pick whichever feels right at a particular moment.

(1.)  Go to the washroom, enter a stall, close your eyes and start cursing.  Five minutes of swearing usually gives a tremendous relief.  The volume doesn’t really matter.  If raising your voice helps you personally and you are sure nobody is around, go ahead.  For me, however, loud whispering (the way actors whisper on stage, so that everyone can hear them), works the best.  The dirtier the better.  Just pretend that you are in a Martin Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino movie.  If you know other languages, use all of them.  Remember, don’t call the objects of your frustration by their names, but keep their faces in front of you mentally.

(2.) This release method is not my original.  It was shared with me by one of my European colleagues and she has learned it from someone else – I am sure it’s been passed on from one generation to another.  I can vouch that it works like a charm.  You have to create a “Page of Frustration.”  Draw some monster on it, something absolutely revolting.  Your artistic abilities make no difference.  You can ask a child to draw it for you.  The most important thing is to write the title and the destruction instructions on the page.  For example:  “Page of Frustration.  In case of emergency, throw it on the floor and stomp it to shreds.”     For some people “viciously crumple and tear it into small pieces” seems to be more appealing.  Whatever works! Make yourself a stack of copies and keep them in your desk.  Make sure that you don’t run out!

(3.) Another useful inventory for a chronically frustrated CFO or Controller is a favorite treat.  Don’t get me wrong – the last thing I want is for anybody to become a closet eater, consuming large quantities of food in search of unattainable solace.  No!!!  That’s not what I am talking about.  I am talking about very small quantities of very small treats, eaten at a very slow pace: three of Godiva chocolate pearls, or five gummy bears, 1/2 oz of trail mix, etc.  Separate them into these small portions in advance, keep only few in your office and consume only as a release remedy.  It works more as a meditative solution than as aggression liberation, but sometimes that’s all you need.

(4.) On my Front Page Raison d’etre, I talk about the therapeutic effects of writing.  And I maintain that committing your grievance to paper is the best form of releasing frustration, tension, stress and anxiety.   You can do it in different ways.  You can pour your heart out in a diary.  You can pretend to write a letter or an email to the source of your pain (without sending them out, of course) describing the situation, verbalizing your feelings, expressing your concerns.  Or you can go a step further towards more satisfying resolution.  You can write that email and send it to me.  Not only that I will become the receptacle of your turmoil, but I will give it even bigger audience by sharing it with other CFO’s, Controllers, etc.

The Distortion of Bill of Rights in Small Business Environment


Regardless of your position – CFO, Controller, operational staff, CSR, janitor -when you accept “employment at will” arrangement in a privately-held company, you inadvertently give up the majority of your rights granted to you by the US Constitution.  Since the Bill of Rights is automatically presumed, it is not necessary to include freedom clauses into Employee Handbooks, Rules of Conduct and other such documents.  Look through them again whenever you have a chance:  they primarily describe what the company expects of you, not the other way around.

Closely-held companies are not democracies.  They are owners’ kingdoms, absolute monarchies.  And most of the time there is nothing you can do about it.  Let us look at some of the Amendments.

1.  Free Exercise of Beliefs.  Having been always based in NYC precluded me from ever witnessing open discrimination of employees for their religious believes.  At the same time on many occasions I’ve observed explicitly expressed irritation about people’s taking their PTO to celebrate religious holidays.  Quite a few times I saw the candidates being rejected based on the unspoken possibility  of their observance.

2.  We do not have Freedom of Speech as employees.  We try to keep our political, social and cultural opinions to ourselves if we know they contradict those of our bosses. Frequently we are not even given an opportunity to retort abusive, accusatory, or unfair verbiage directed at us or at our subordinates.

3.  We cannot exercise Right to Assembly.  I myself as a supervisor is pretty strict about people congregating for reasons not related to their jobs during work hours.  At the same time I am not as obsessive about it as some business-owners who throw tantrums every time they see people talking.

4.  The Protection from Unreasonable Search is violated time and again in the workplace.  The business files, emails, etc. are rightfully belong to the company you work for, and if you are openly asked to follow established policies of information sharing, files locations and full disclosure, you should willingly comply.  But many employers use System Administrators to secretly look through their employees’ emails, files, etc.  They open doors with spare keys and look into draws containing personal affects.  They use special programs to record IM communications, etc, etc.

5.  Not a single right guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment (due process, double jeopardy, self-incrimination) is considered when you are judged, persecuted and punished by your boss.  Fairness is laughed at in business environment.  A lot of CEO’s, with whom I dealt over the years either as an employee or through business and social networking, considered my personal determination to be as fair as possible and judge people on their merits in all situations as one of my “strange” qualities.  

One right we, as employees, can enjoy under “employment at will” arrangement is the very special freedom it guarantees you: just as your employer can fire you without warning, you can quit on a moment’s notice.   That, of course, if you can afford to do so.

Hard-Working CFO Is Not a Don Quixote


As we already discussed, people like me (not only CFOs and Controllers, but anyone of the same makeup) work hard because they cannot operate any other way.  We do it out of self-respect. If we undertake a job with its multitude of functions we try our best to adhere to our own high standards of work ethics.

Does this mean that we are idealists of the Don Quixote persuasion?  Will we sacrifice merit-based rewards for the sake of doing the job that makes us proud?  Will we let our bosses to take advantage of our self-drive and pay us peanuts?

No, no and no.  If that what you gathered from Why Do I Work So Hard?, you grossly misunderstood me.  Don’t forget that we first accept a job, but once we do, we start working hard.  And the compensation should be adequate.

The thing is, though, we know this about ourselves.  We know that we will do our best for the employer and we know that, unless something we cannot control ourselves happens, the company will benefit from our efforts tremendously.  So, don’t forget that: reflect it in your resumes, your cover letters, your conversations with hiring managers.

And if you made a conscious choice of working in a privately owned business, you actually have an opportunity to present yourself to the people who care about the company’s well-being the most – the owners.  Let them know that you adhere to high level of work ethics.  It will make a difference and it can be used as a negotiating point.

{Side note: my experience shows that stressing these points with recruiters or HR managers will be wasteful and frequently detrimental to your ability to move to the next level of interviewing process.  These people are employees, you don’t know their attitudes towards the job and they may feel threatened.}

A quick word of warning: never say, “I am the best thing that will ever happen to your company.”  First of all, you cannot guarantee that because there are a lot of circumstances that can negate your diligent efforts.  Secondly, I was told by many a psychologists that these types of statements are classified as “over-compensating” and usually signal lack of confidence.  Instead, present your case based on your prior achievements and relate them to your dedication.

Of course, the salary negotiations are tricky and influenced by many circumstances: the job market conditions, whether you are currently employed, whether this job is a real stepping stone in your career, etc.   Nevertheless, that would be true for all applicants, but if you are indeed a naturally hard-working person like me, you have an edge.

Hopefully, by the time a raise and/or a bonus discussion comes up, your reputation will be solidified and you will be rewarded for your efforts.  If you still need to negotiate, you will have a chance to talk about your present, not past, achievements.

And here I would like to refer you to the following The Ladders article, which directly addresses the issue of Salary Negotiation.

 

 

Priorities and Attitudes


I’ve been predominantly focusing on specific issues and situations lately, thus ignoring the general topics of behavioral patterns in work environment.  So, today I would like to discuss how people’s priorities affect their attitudes and how important it is to recognize that connection not only in yourself, but in people around you as well.

Depending on circumstances, we switch from one mode of operation to another and focus on different priorities. This affects our behavioral patterns, our attitudes towards the tasks at hand and people around us.  For most of us, it is difficult to dissect and analyze our own motivations and actions.  However, to succeed in business and in life we need not only understand ourselves, but go further and develop an ability to recognize the behavioral patterns in others as well.

The good news is that we can apply a certain level of standardization to the seemingly limitless array of human demeanor.  Let’s look at some of the most common priority/attitude correlations.

Remember my post about Economic Triangles?  What happens if the highest priority is speed – to get a task accomplished in the shortest possible time?  Frequently that pushes the quality of the result to much lower level on the priority ladder.  At the same time, for someone like me, for example, it is highly important that no half-baked crap leaves my desk.  It is most likely that while trying to balance speed and quality I will display signs of agitation and frustration.  And so will anybody else in this position.

Here is another one.  Sometime ago you gave one of your employees a complicated assignment.  It’s not just complex, but it’s a crucial piece in your decision-making process concerning viability of a new line of business.  Now, he stands at your door shining like a well-kept copper kettle.  You are busy (when we are not busy?) – you raise your head and snap, “If you have something, send me an email.”  What was the guy’s priority?  Economy of time?  No, it was the desire to show you his accomplishment and be rewarded by your recognition of his success.  Next time you pass him you see him slacked back in his chair sourly moving his mouse.  Whose fault is that?     

So, next time a perfectionist under your supervision starts acting like an irritable child, ask yourself whether there is a conflict between the quality requirements and the deadline imposed on him.  And if an enthusiastic and talented person starts displaying passive-aggressive symptoms, see if you can give him a mid-term performance evaluation and express your appreciation.  

Over the years of self-training and experience, I have become an expert in prioritization and optimization of my personal standards against requirements of the moment.  It takes years of conscious efforts to develop these abilities.  People around us, including our subordinates, peers and bosses don’t necessarily possess them.  Understanding the conflict of priorities that dictates their attitudes gives us an undeniable professional edge.