Quote of the Week


Images-1INT. OFFICES OF WERTSHAFTER CPA & ASSOCIATES

TED SCHMIDT CPA, who has been fired by his boss for non-business use of the Internet on the job after 9 years with the firm, is about to leave the premises forever with his Mr. Coffee and a few personal effects in a box.

MR. WERSHAFTER

Schmidt?

TED

Yes, sir?

MR. WERSHAFTER

One more thing. Are you happy being an accountant?

TED

Happy?

MR. WERSHAFTER

Does balancing the books makes your heart beat faster?

Bummed out Ted takes a moment to contemplate the question. He sighs.

TED

No, sir, not really.

MR. WERSHAFTER

Then, I am doing you a favor. Next time find yourself something you have a passion for. Otherwise, you are just jerking yourself off.

QAF, Episode 2.2, written by Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman

Unimaginable Abyss of Accounting Ignorance


We constantly read and hear about American students' low level of academic performance. They rank 23rd out of 57 nations participating in international testing. Researchers and public-policy makers have been trying to figure out the reasons for this abysmal show of intellectual power. The "education system" is usually blamed: different teaching methodologies, testing devices, and so on, and so forth.

In my opinion the problem has nothing to do with educational technicalities. It's has to do with obvious gradual degeneration of general public's intellectual abilities (blame it on the mobile devices' radiation, if you have to). Whatever the reason, fact remains: high-schoolers are doing worse and worse in all subjects.

The common sense should lead a logical person to a conclusion that the declining academic achievements translate into a reduction in college enrollments. If one cannot keep up in a secondary school, how can that person attempt to receive a quality post-secondary education, right? Wrong! Between 1989 and 1999 college enrollments increased only by 9%, but in the 10 years after that – by 38% (!!!), from 14.8 million to 20.4 million.

And, of course, it's not easy to get into Ivy League schools, which accept 10-20% of the applicants (well, my readers know my opinion about the quality of education there). Yet, more than 80% of colleges in this country accept every other applicant, and there are some with 100% acceptance rate. I mean, the colleges want money and they will lower their requirements to whatever levels in order to fill the seats in the lecture halls.

So, every year millions of young people who were not succeeding at the high school level enter post-secondary education system. Why do they do that instead of trying to start their own businesses, attempt creative pursuits, or go into honorable and well-paid blue collar trades, I have no clue, but it is what it is.

Now, those kids who had comparatively better grades, some artistic inclinations, and/or expect to utilize their parents connections in the future take pre-med, pre-law, finance, marketing, various arts and designs . Those who don't think, or don't need to think, about their survival head for liberal arts. So, who ends up taking accounting majors? Everyone else as long as they can count without using their fingers.

But accounting and taxation are not easy. To fully understand it one should possess propensity for conceptual thinking, analytical mind, ability to absorb high volumes of regulations, standards, codes. And I am just talking about basics. 30-35 years ago up to 50% of freshmen who signed up for accounting courses would drop out before the first midterm. Nowadays, they somehow struggle through and graduate. The best of them are snatched by the Big 4, the next tier by other large CPA firms and big-time corporations.

The rest end up in the small and midsize businesses and accounting firms. It's my plight to deal with them, exposing myself on daily basis to the devastating result of this natural selection process. In every company I observe the same thing: so much is wrong! The books of different corporations are co-mingled, revenues and costs recognized incorrectly, inventory is not valued properly, etc., etc. It's difficult for an entrepreneurial company to survive in the first place; the accounting incompetence drags them down even further.

Books are kept intuitively, as if rules and standards did not exist. The most shocking thing is that auditors look at all that and accept it. The main concerns appear to be that the bank balances are reconciled to the statements and the control accounts match with supporting schedules. The PRINCIPAL CORRECTNESS is irrelevant.

I give them the benefit of the doubt and let them explain themselves.

Me: Why doesn't your inventory in storage match with the warehouse's records?

Them: Because they don't account for the three lots that already been loaded on the trucks.

Me: Neither should you. That's inventory in-transit, not in storage.

Them (in complete seriousness): Oh, that's what "in-transit" mean.

And I have sad conversations like that practically every day. Pity the well-versed professional!

My book "CFO Techniques" can help these people to improve. Too bad my publishers are not doing match to deliver it into the potential readers' hands.

He Looks Like an Accountant…


I was on a train a few weeks ago next to a woman reading a mystery novel.  Involuntarily I've glanced at the page and my trained eye spotted the word "accountant."  I couldn't help myself and read a couple of sentences: "Detective Jones came out of his office.  He looked like an accountant. He asked me…."

The "accountant look" has become a social and cultural cliche long time ago.  So, what do people have in mind when they say that?  They mean Charles Grodin in "Dave" and Barry Kivel in "Bound."  They mean Will Ferrell in "Stranger than Fiction" and Gene Wilder in "The Producers," etc.  The numbers of cinematic portrayals available as references is not that large, but the principle idea is clear: they mean, bland, boring, meek. 

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And yes, it is unlikely for an accountant to have a blue mohawk or to strut around in red patent leather boots with 4" heels.  An accountant is not expected to stand out even if he is clad in a $3,000 Italian suit. 

But, let me tell you, very-very frequently that nondescript appearance is just a cover.  Like Superman under his Clark Kent persona, an accountant may be hiding a secret identity, an ambition far beyond his outer image.

Charles Grodin's character cracks Presidential budget's problems overnight.  Shelly in "Bound" steals $2 million from Mafia in attempt to incite his boss's beautiful wife to run away with him.  Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) abandons his regimented life as an IRS agent to become a singer.  Both Gene Wilder in "The Producers" and Jack Lemmon in the "Apartment" get the Girl.

Let's push the movies aside for a second.  In real life the accounting profession is responsible for some fascinating alumni: J.P. Morgan, John Grisham, Bob Newhart, Thomas Pickard, Kenny G. (well, maybe we should keep that one in secret).

The front page of this blog  Raison d'etre expresses my firm believe that CFOs and Controllers regardless of their appearances are the cerebral force behind adventurous entrepreneurs.  It's just that our daredevil streaks are tamed by critical reasoning.

Let's come back to the movie references.  Standards for women are different: here we have Cher in "Moonstruck" and Kirstie Alley in "Look Who's Talking" series.

Cher+Moonstruck

 

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So, it is Ok for a female accountant to be attractive.  Well, maybe the fact that it is more difficult to stick an accounting label on women is the reason why they don't rise to the positions of the perceived "highest level of success" as frequently as men do.  According to CFO.com, Women CFOs Holding Steady: to be exact, steadily under 9% among both Fortune 500 companies and mid-cap 1500.  You see, they don't "look like accountants."

All I can say is that every time I am in the General Admission pit at a rock concert, the young people around me don't believe that I am a CFO.