Category: Bosses

Warning: “Horrible Bosses”!


ANISTON-HORRIBLE-BOSSES A quick warning to my readers, dealing with difficult bosses on daily basis as a part of their job descriptions:  You will not be able to relate to the protagonists of "Horrible Bosses."

It  is not a comedic representation of the workplace environment, which I always welcome when it's done well.  It's a physical farce of the "Hangover" kind.  It has nothing to do with the reality of professional life.  As the matter of fact, it did not need to be about work at all.  The preposterous premise that three men, who know each other (!), abhor their bosses to the point that they (all three of them at the same time!) decide to commit murders, cancels any possibility of intellectual thinking behind the story (what story?!).  The people depicted in the movie – both bosses and employees could have been anybody.  This could be about husbands vs. wives (or other way around), students vs. teachers, athletes vs. coaches – you get it, right?  And everyone acts like a clown.  I wouldn't mind the shenanigans if the heroes had any recognizable characterizations.  Do you know anybody who would agree to drink a full glass of Scotch in his boss's office at 8:15 AM?

It's just so sad that it always happens like that in Hollywood.  First someone has a commercial success with a certain concept – vampires, zombies, ordinary people getting themselves into rediculously farcical situations, etc.  Then bunch of unoriginal "filmmakers" follow suit – concept remains the same, but characters and circumstances change slightly.  AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE STORY!  It's all tricks and gimmicks.

How unfortunate that fantastic Kevin Spacey, whom I deeply respect and who gave me two of my top twenty theatrical experiences (in "The Iceman Cometh" and "A Moon for Misbegotten") has agreed to make this.  I know he needs money for all the great artistic endeavors he champions, like TriggerStreet and The Old Vic, but still.  You want to see him play a really scary boss, get Swimming with Sharks (1994) from Netflix.

Just watch the two videos below for comparison.

 



        

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Just Your Average Opportunistic Boss


220px-Terminator1984movieposter Who can resist this?  The Governator has cheated and lied?  Noooo, you are kidding!!! I am sure millions of bloggers hit the keyboards running.

But wait a minute, I already wrote about this – just little over four months ago: CFO Folklore: When Your Boss's Secretary Becomes His Girlfriend.  Well, not about Arnie per se, but about bosses having affairs with their employees. 

Obviously, it was based on incidents I have witnessed in business, as a financial professional.  I wrote the piece from the inside perspective of frustrated CFOs and Controllers, who are forced to deal with that.  Yet, I used very generalized terms, because it is the most typical type of infidelity. 

I don't think I have to remind you about all political scandals with exactly the same premise.  I never thought that the only reason these incidents ignited public attention was people's relishing the dirt.  It is the relevance of these situations to every-day life that attracts people: "Oh, he is just like that dick I work for."  As the matter of fact, that January post is the third most popular item on this Blog – people relate.

There is always an enterprising (rarely smitten) young and ambitions intern/staffer/secretary/page (she or he) in the office of a powerful older man, who,  driven by desire to excel in life without too much effort, will pursue the boss with all her (his) youthful enthusiasm.  And of course, the older person is weakened: his male nature already has a propensity for imprudence; his morals are corrupted by power; he is ridden with temptation to taste something 20-25 years younger…  "What a poor man to do?"

As the matter of fact, small business owners have it better than more powerful public figures like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Bill Clinton.  The latter risk public humiliation and popularity votes; the former have almost nothing to fear in their little absolute monarchies.  

The truth is, I liked Mr. Schwarzenegger up until he went into politics.  I admired his drive to rise above his muscles.  He actually always seemed liked a pretty decent man to me – someone who, if he fell out of love, would just come clean, divorce her and then go on making babies with another woman.  I should have known that as soon as "political reasoning" kicked in, lying would commence.  That they kept quiet, so he wouldn't loose his supporters – it's just disgusting.  

It is uncanny, but the former action star's news of an out-of-wedlock child, hit much closer to the real-life prototype of Boss and His Secretary story I wrote in January – I've just recently learned that the secretary in question is actually pregnant, while the boss is still legally married to his wife of twenty years.  

I would like to propose a little contest.  My readers, if you know of a single male business owner over 50 year old, with the staff of more than 20 people, who never had any indiscretions, please let me know.  I will sing praises to him in these virtual pages.

Donna Ballman’s Great Article on Workplace Rights


Those who visit my blog consistently probably remember my post The Distortion of Bill of Rights in Small Business and know that I frequently come back to the issues of an employee's freedoms and rights even in the pieces not related to to those topics directly.  I would like to draw the readers' attention to this great article by Donna Ballman written for AOL Jobs 10 Workplace Rights You Think You Have, But Don't. 

Ms. Ballman is an employment attorney, so unlike my insider's point of view, her perspective is independent and supported by legal expertise – really a must-read for everyone who confused their workplace for a democracy.

Objectivism, Part 2: Lynn Tilton – the Matriarch of Patriarch


Jessica Pressler provided the second mentioning of Ayn Rand, in her long-titled article What Does it Take For a Female Tycoon to Get Noticed Around Here? , which she contributed to New York magazine's issue on the post-crash Wall Street.  It profiles Patriarch Partners' CEO Lynn Tilton and, according to the author, this is how the powerhouse of private equity investment sees herself: as "an Ayn Rand heroine in six-inch heels."

Rightfully so.  This woman is not simply concerned with the state of American capitalism and the future that awaits us ("…I believe that there will… be violence in the streets in America," she says.  "And I think the only thing we can do to stop it is by creating employment."), but she is actually doing something about it – working very hard on trying to rebuild American manufacturing.  Moreover, she is doing that without any regard for the conventions of the phony propriety that has saturated our existence. 

Lynn Tilton destroys the stereotype of a "powerful man" as a world-savior.  A true standard-buster,  just like Ayn Rand wanted women to be, she does not make herself look like the androgynous creatures in buttoned-down suits who are allowed to enter "little boys" clubs from time to time.  She does not let herself to fit into the designated for business tycoons box either.  She refuses to hide her wealth into over-priced art rubbish other billionaires stash in their unseen drawing rooms.  Her conspicuous consumption is honest, because that should not define her.  It has nothing to do with her achievements.  

It is incredibly important to me that Ms. Tilton's  business focus lies in the same field as mine does: the proverbial backbone of the US economy – small and midsize companies.  And it makes the refusal of others to look beyond the outfits, the hair, the jewelry, the mannerism, far more painful.   Once again I am exposed to the violation of my personal absolute truth – MERIT.

Why can't people break out of their constricted mentalities? 

At art fund raising minglings, when I dissect a movie or a play, impressed people, who are paid to be in the know of those things, inevitably ask what I do for living.  I just love seeing their faces when I say, "Accounting and finance."  You see, number-crunchers are not expected to understand the high art.  It does not matter that I know more about it than they do.  On the other hand, when I was entering Economics PhD program, my wild jewfro was diminishing my scientific credibility, even though I came with 50% of my research and modeling already completed. 

Always those fucking labels, those stupid boxes.

I can easily visualize Lynn Tilton going to Harry Winston or Van Cleef & Arpels for some fabulous $250,000 necklace and people in attendance there thinking that she is some mogul's wife.  She must relish the opportunity to tell them, "I am the mogul, bitches!"

It's too bad that Ms. Tilton deals only in private equity acquisitions of distressed businesses and does not diversify into venture capital start-up investments.  I am developing a product right now that has a great potential of contributing into survival of smaller companies and complementing her quest for preserving the true capitalism.  I think we would get along handsomely.  We both know that it's what's inside your head that counts.  She is having trouble getting the respect she deserves, because we lost our meritocracy to "club membership" long time ago.    

CFO Folklore: My Personal Mantra


In my earlier post Why Do I Work So Hard? I talked extensively about conscientious attitude towards my CFO responsibilities.  However, time and again I find myself worrying about matters, which are not really under my direct control: lazy marketing people, self-serving sales force, inept operations, and (again and again) bosses who constantly jeopardize their own business.

And it’s not just me.  There are a lot of people in my network, who display the same level of care.  We frequently become each others’ sounding boards when the angst gets too overwhelming.

So, here we are at lunch.  My friend JM ranting about VP of Ops fighting with his girlfriend on the phone for three hours, while the production manager was waiting for him.  I am sharing the pains of trying to catch the President to release a $1M wire transfer and his dodging me because “he had enough for the day.”

And it’s not like we don’t have anything else to discuss.  Most of my business acquaintances are entertaining individuals.  JM, for example, has an incredible sense of humor.  I am a theater and foreign cinema fanatic.  Somehow, my banking relations are all classical music buffs.  We all read Jonathan Franzen and Michael Cunningham.

And yet, we talk about problems at work every chance we get.  Most people, when they stop for a second and think about it, get very angry and frustrated with themselves.  Frequently at the end of these conversations I hear, ” I don’t own this business.  It is not my fuck up.  Am I supposed to butt in on other people’s responsibilities? Why do I even care?“

Me? I don’t get frustrated about my caring so much.  And I tell my concerned peers that they shouldn’t get upset with themselves either.  You see, years ago I figured out that the conscientious working attitude, the ambition to succeed, the striving for merit-based rewards and the care for the entire business – they all go together.  They are inseparable qualities and indifference doesn’t fit into the picture.  If this is who you are, you will always care.  

Moreover, in small business environment, this very combination of qualities is what brought you to where you are.  This is what separates you from others.  This is what got you into the CFO or Controller chair with the correspondent salary and perks attached, which, in their turn, define your living standards. 

So, I’ve created myself a mantra: I CAN’T SURVIVE ON “I DON’T CARE.”  

There is a compensation threshold, which, when crossed, brings you into the stage of your professional life, where hardworking people care about the well-being of their employers.  I’d say right now it’s somewhere around $70K a year.   At $200K a year, you either care a whole lot, or you are a fraud, or you are working for a big-size mastodon.  So, ask yourself, “Can I survive on a $70K salary?”  And if you can, go for it – not caring is a bliss.