Category: CFO Folklore

Language Barrier


I don't know why, people still single out the US as a country of immigrants.  Just because before Columbus "found" the "New" World, this land was vastly unpopulated, and after that Europeans started moving in?  Well, people,  all over the world, migrated from one place to another through the history of humanity.  And I can assure you that Americans who can trace their origins to Mayflower and beyond, don't consider themselves immigrants.    

Of course, we have an inflow of new immigrants, and we  do lead in absolute numbers, but per capita, Australia's and Canada's immigration rates are currently three times higher than America's.  Also, there is a question of concentration.  What we should be called is a country of uneven immigration. 

There are places where people have never seen an immigrant.  I have a Turkish friend who once stopped with his half-Swedish-half-French wife in a small Midwestern town for gas and the shop-keeper called a sheriff.  100% true story. Homogeneous regions and countries scare me – they are too easy to manipulate.

I enjoy the blessed places, where you can see different faces and hear different tongues every step you take.  And it is with a great reluctance, I have to recognize the fact that the language barrier problem sometimes affects the work environment.  Well, it's rather accent barrier.   

I myself have no such problem.  Over the years I worked with people from more than 20 countries.  I pay attention and my ears got accustomed to all sorts of accents and grammatical deviations.  Unfortunately, that cannot be said about everybody.  Many times I have encountered situations of stark misunderstanding between employees of different origin.  It results in  frustration, waste of time and even errors. 

Few years ago I had two employees in my analytics group – one was a woman from Ukraine and another was a man from China.  While I had no problem communicating with them, they could not understand each other.  The woman was very cautious about filling the gaps in information with her own assumptions and guesses.  Instead, she would drag him into my office, asking me to explain.  CFO, the Interpreter! 

Something needed to be done.  I thought of replacing one of them, but that's not my way of doing things.  Instead, I asked them to communicate in writing – every time they needed to say something to each other, they used IM.  Some people may think that it took away more time – not true.  They spent so much time trying to understand one another and getting me involved, my solution was actually a time-saver.  Actually, seeing the words has improved their verbal communication as well.    

I think problems like that are rooted in the lack of effort.  The two kept asking me why I didn't have problems understanding either of them.  I'd said,  "Just pay attention to expressions and emotions and it will be easier to understand."

Like in this video.  The great comedian speaks a cartoon language he invented himself.  Yet, people all over the world understand him.

 

    

    


   

CFO Folklore: My Personal Mantra


In my earlier post Why Do I Work So Hard? I talked extensively about conscientious attitude towards my CFO responsibilities.  However, time and again I find myself worrying about matters, which are not really under my direct control: lazy marketing people, self-serving sales force, inept operations, and (again and again) bosses who constantly jeopardize their own business.

And it’s not just me.  There are a lot of people in my network, who display the same level of care.  We frequently become each others’ sounding boards when the angst gets too overwhelming.

So, here we are at lunch.  My friend JM ranting about VP of Ops fighting with his girlfriend on the phone for three hours, while the production manager was waiting for him.  I am sharing the pains of trying to catch the President to release a $1M wire transfer and his dodging me because “he had enough for the day.”

And it’s not like we don’t have anything else to discuss.  Most of my business acquaintances are entertaining individuals.  JM, for example, has an incredible sense of humor.  I am a theater and foreign cinema fanatic.  Somehow, my banking relations are all classical music buffs.  We all read Jonathan Franzen and Michael Cunningham.

And yet, we talk about problems at work every chance we get.  Most people, when they stop for a second and think about it, get very angry and frustrated with themselves.  Frequently at the end of these conversations I hear, ” I don’t own this business.  It is not my fuck up.  Am I supposed to butt in on other people’s responsibilities? Why do I even care?“

Me? I don’t get frustrated about my caring so much.  And I tell my concerned peers that they shouldn’t get upset with themselves either.  You see, years ago I figured out that the conscientious working attitude, the ambition to succeed, the striving for merit-based rewards and the care for the entire business – they all go together.  They are inseparable qualities and indifference doesn’t fit into the picture.  If this is who you are, you will always care.  

Moreover, in small business environment, this very combination of qualities is what brought you to where you are.  This is what separates you from others.  This is what got you into the CFO or Controller chair with the correspondent salary and perks attached, which, in their turn, define your living standards. 

So, I’ve created myself a mantra: I CAN’T SURVIVE ON “I DON’T CARE.”  

There is a compensation threshold, which, when crossed, brings you into the stage of your professional life, where hardworking people care about the well-being of their employers.  I’d say right now it’s somewhere around $70K a year.   At $200K a year, you either care a whole lot, or you are a fraud, or you are working for a big-size mastodon.  So, ask yourself, “Can I survive on a $70K salary?”  And if you can, go for it – not caring is a bliss.

Female CFOs and Controllers: Are We Equal?


March 8th, 2011 marked the 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day.  

I have to confess my aversion to such holidays.  Why do we need designated days to appreciate mothers, fathers, love, Earth, women?  It's like we treat them badly all year long and then try to make up for it in a single day. 

The Women's Day also troubles me because of its Socialist origins.  However, it provides an opportunity to raise issues of social and professional inequality.  If we have to choose between one day of awareness vs. none, of course, one is a better choice. 

Especially, if A-list stars like Daniel Craig and Judi Dench commemorate it with a video for Equals? partnership.  Watch it: Dame Judi spends two minutes reciting statistics of global-scale injustice.  It's important, but may create an illusion of remoteness.  When she says that women perform 2/3 of work, but earn only 10% of income and own 1% of property, surely, it accounts for all those "other" countries. 

Well, are we equal to our male counterparts here, in corporate America? 

Let's see.  The pay gap is still 19%.  Let me spell it out: a female CFO or Controller will make 81 cents against a dollar earned by a man in the same position.  Among the Fortune 500 companies,  only 9% of CFOs are female.  The same goes for Midcap 1500…  Enough of this lifeless statistical data.  Let me pull few examples out of my personal experience folder.

The brightest auditor I've known was assigned to my books by the CPA firm I've engaged about eight years ago.  Every time I praise her to the senior partner, he tells me that she knows ten times more than he does.  At one point I asked, when she was going to make a partner?  The answer was, "Well, the company never had a female partner before…"    

For many years I've been invited to participate in executive focus groups.  Banks are particularly interested in researching opinions of CFOs, Controllers and Treasurers.  There is never more than 25% of women in a group.  Once, when the subject was Board of Directors' accounting awareness, I was the only female participant.

Speaking of BODs, during internet bubble I worked for a high-tech start-up backed by venture capital.  The investors had their hands in a lot of businesses, which forced them onto a merry-go-round of board meetings.  They were freshly surprised every time I presented monthly results.  All other investees had male CFOs.

Five years ago I was asked by my boss to give up my CFO office for a newly hired COO.  What made this person more important than me?  Nothing at all, except for his gender.  The boss said, "I just cannot put him into a smaller office."  Really?  This big shot spent most of his time just staring out of the window.

Notice how cleverly the Equals? video is set up: even though M is 007's boss, she would never get away with shenanigans that make James Bond so endearing to the world.  So, no, we are not equal. 



 

CFO Folklore: “The Servant of Two Masters”


440940251img1_mediumTwo-headed bosses are common when people work for businesses founded by relatives, which, I am sure, can be a source of fascinating undercurrents and rivalries.  I invite my readers to share relevant stories.

I, on the other hand, worked (more than once) for equal partners who were not related.  Each of the duos consisted of individuals so different, it was a miracle they stayed in business together.  As a CFO, forced into the middle of the co-owners dynamics, I was able to observe common behavioral tendencies in the bosses themselves and people around them.

Business partners' alliances are usually symbiotic.  One is an idea generator, the other is an implementer.  One is brains, the other is money.  One can close a deal in seconds, the other makes sure the company performs.  They always complement each other, or they wouldn't be in the trenches together. 

Either will squeeze all juices out of you, and yet their personalities differ just as much as their abilities.  One is usually more diplomatic, better with people, logical, frugal.  The other is brash, careless, erratic, a lavish spender.  They don't see eye to eye about the majority of business issues and frequently talk to their CFO or Controller separately, presenting contradictory positions.

260 years ago, in "The Servant of Two Masters," Carlo Goldoni depicted the delirium of working for two employers who try to find each other without knowing they live in the same hotel.  Sounds familiar?  Poor Truffaldino is so anxious, he develops a stutter.  Imagine the hilarity!  Well, at least he got double wages.  When your single-salary job depends on maneuvering two conflicting bosses, you don't feel like laughing. 

Most people end up aligning themselves with one of them.  Sometimes, it works out in a natural way: if one owner oversees Production, while another spearheads Sales and Marketing, it is obvious where VP of Ops and VP of Sales allegiances will lie.  

Even when it's not clear-cut, people have a tendency to navigate with their issues toward the boss who is perceived to be "nicer," regardless of his preparedness to make relevant decisions.  As the result, you may end up with a wrong solution, or the issue is brought to the other owner's attention anyway; only now he knows that you tried to bypass him.   Either way, you are screwed.

CFOs and Controllers should not form any alliances when they work for two partners.  When monetary matters are concerned, both must be kept in the loop.  In super-important cases, get them into the same room, whether they like it or not.  I am known for bringing bosses into the office from their summer residencies in the middle of July, when I had to.

Of course, you have to earn your right to do so with hard work and authoritative success.  You also need to be very diplomatic with both of them – either must think you prefer deal with him and inform the other out of courtesy.  It takes Machiavellian skills to boss the bosses.  Otherwise, you will end up stuttering, like poor Truffaldino.

The Frustrated CFO Is Looking for a Litigator to Defend an Employee – Part II


…Continued from previous post (published on June 30th)

Unfortunately, even with all this tremendous efforts, business continued to contract.  First of all, the economy was unraveling: the global credit crunch was at its peak  in 2009 and consumers did not have money to pay their debts.  Secondly, the new government regulations helped debtors not to pay and settle at a fraction of the value instead.  In this conditions the bosses decided to go on the other side of the business - to open a set of new companies operating in loan modification and debt restructuring sector.

They have approached MJ with this idea and promised her that she would continue to carry out all financial executive responsibilities in the new business as well.   While still taking care of the old business, she helped them to set up all new companies.  Of course, there were not enough capital to start it up at a full speed.  The two businessmen approached MJ and asked her for a  $150,000 120 days personal loan to help the new business to catch a breath.

Dear readers, please don't judge my friend.  Let me tell you that MJ is one of the most brilliant people I've ever met.  She fully understood the risks.  However, it was clear to her that if she refused, they would have fired her right away: these are average entrepreneurs we frequently discuss – just like the rest of them, they let their emotions run their brains.  This was (and, as we know, still is) a very bad time to be an out-of-job CFO approaching 50.  It was also inconceivable  to think that these two people, whom she helped to survive, would cheat her out of her personal savings.  So, she landed the money to the new law firm. 

Ninety days later, one month before the loan was due for repayment, they fired her using an independent consultant, locked her out of the offices and built a Chinese Wall between themselves and her. 

Now, out of job and out of money, she tried to work with the attorney they appointed to deal with her on their behalf.  She was told that they could not repay her money in full on the agreed due date.  All kinds of unacceptable installment deals were suggested to her with various crazy conditions.  Of course, their lawyer employed all the tricks up her sleeve to drag the matter as long as she could – the delaying tactics were unmatchable.  And as soon as she agreed to one of their installment plans, the communications stopped altogether.  

Meanwhile, all the aggravation of her predicament and anxiety affected her health – she had an acute cardiac episode and ended up on a surgeon's table.  Her condition is managed by several medications now, but it was concluded by her doctors that she must not deal with this tragic matter directly.

So, MJ is looking for an attorney to represent her in order to get these amoral bastards to pay her back.  By the way, she has a multi-page list of misdeeds, violations, and frauds these people has committed against their business partners, clients, etc., etc. 

The most heartbreaking thing is that this woman has immigrated into the US as a political refugee 20 years ago with $90 in her pocket.  She has built herself up from ground zero only to be robbed of her hard-earned money and thrown out on the street by two ruthless monsters who still enjoy all of their businesses, multi-million dollar residences and summer houses in the Hamptons.

If any of my readers know an attorney who might be interested in this case, please email me at the.frustrated.cfo@gmail.com. 

Note: the law firm that borrowed the money has presence in PA, NJ and NY.