Category: Practical Advice

If You Are Cheating on Your Taxes, Don’t Step on Anyone’s Toes



 I’ve been going to the original Bumble & Bumble salon on 56th Street since… Well, who cares?  Especially when we talk about, to paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, the only two certain things in this world – our attempts to resist aging and taxes.

All I’m saying is that I have a first-hand experience with the house that Michael Gordon built – in this very location, starting back in 1977.  In fact, the masters I come to see here have been at B&B since the very beginning!  This says volumes about the environment of the place. It has a very unique ambiance – you feel special there.  That’s why the company has an impressive record of retaining clients and employees alike.

Up until the 2006 sale of the B&B brand (the salons, the products, et al) to Estee Lauder (most people don’t realize that it also owns Clinique, MAC, Bobbi Brown, La Mer, Origins, Jo Malone, Smashbox, Aveda, and Darphin), from time to time you could catch a site of Mr. Gordon on the premises.  His mannerism always struck me as a peculiar combination of a relaxed composure (grapevine has it that he is into Buddhist spirituality) and a blatant assholiness toward some employees.

But, as I always say, you don’t get to be a successful entrepreneur by being warm and fuzzy.  To survive in business you need to be tough.  Some of us can be tough and decent at the same time.  Unfortunately, that’s very rare.  Well, since I didn’t need to deal with him personally, I was able to abstract Michael Gordon into what he was as a small-business owner: someone, who started from nothing and grew his brand to international recognition.  I admired him for his courage, drive, and strategic savvy. 

Also, one cannot dismiss the fact that for Mr. Gordon it wasn’t just about branding, growth, and money.  He was truly a hair-man, devoted to the idea of creating high-quality products that satisfied a wide spectrum of needs.  Unlike the vast majority of other famous salon owners (Sally Hershberger is one example), who are engaged in “private label” merchandising (i.e. buying generic, mass-produced,  “juice” and pouring it into containers with their names), Michael Gordon actually developed unique mixtures, which are used to great effects in many salons and homes. 

It was his quality standards and unrelenting drive to succeed that fascinated me.  Imagine my surprise, when I read in New York Times that this remarkable and shrewd businessman was arrested for tax evasion.  And it wasn’t even for something cleverly devised (not that I would approve that) – no, it was plainly stupid: he didn’t declare on his tax return the $30 million capital gain generated by that famous sale of B&B. 

The charges (both criminal and that of stupidity) against him are mounting: when he was questioned by IRS about this omission, he claimed ignorance of the fact.   And that’s lying to a federal agent, because apparently there is evidence of his active attempts to hide this money. 

What is the point of lying like that anyway?  Didn’t he sign his tax return back in 2007?  He never heard of capital gains? Weren’t there a horde of lawyers and accountants involved in the closing the deal?  Nobody mentioned the tax liability?  Hard to believe.     

NYT didn’t make it a secret that IRS has acted on a tip received from a “confidential informer.”  Of course, they did.  Truth be told, IRS doesn’t have sufficient resources to look for specific violations of the tax code.  The best they can do is to react to the red flags selected by their algorithms.  Your employer reported your earnings, but you didn’t include them on your tax return – an inquiry will commence.  Itemized deductions  exceed certain levels, even if by $100 – the flag will be raised.  Meanwhile, corporate executives receive multi-million dollar perks and call them “business expenses”; private shareholders transfer stocks and property between related parties and don’t recognize capital gains; owners make equity withdrawals and show them as loans – and none of it ever get noticed.  

However, the situation changes if someone makes a call, sends a letter, or an electronic message to IRS, detailing a case of the tax evasion.  If this someone provides sufficient information and the violation is big enough to prick up agents’ ears, they will be on the case right away.  Especially if it involves a notable figure that can get media interest (hey, you cannot blame IRS agents for wanting some attention). 

Even though IRS has, what they call, a whistleblower reward program, it’s not easy to get paid for reporting tax violations.  Obviously, in most cases, the informants are not motivated by money.  Typically, they have some sort of a relationship with the evader and it resulted in two outcomes: an incredible animosity that goes way beyond a simple grudge and the knowledge that the government is being shortchanged.  The IRS becomes a mere weapon of revenge.

This is why Leona Helmsley went to jail in 1992.  The Queen of Mean dragged behind herself a trail of disgruntled contractors, corporate employees, and household help, who really hated her.  Some of them possessed hard evidence proving that millions of dollars spent on personal properties were billed to Helmsley’s real estate business. 

And that’s why Michael Gordon got arrested.  In his brazen manner, he must’ve rubbed the wrong way someone with the first-hand knowledge of the $30 million unreported gain.  That hurt someone dropped a note to IRS.  

Do I have to state the obvious?  Don’t steal big bucks from government – it’s dangerous.  But if you make a conscious decision to dodge some taxes, make sure that no one knows about it but you.  And I mean NO ONE.  If that’s impossible, make sure that you are super nice to those who are onto you – they have your freedom in their hands.      

Legal Expert’s Rundown on Employers’ Rights to Discriminate


ImagesI frequently write (and talk) about the distortion of bill of rights in the workplace and other similar perks of employees' existence.  Hell, I even have a separate category for posts devoted to nepotism. I always stress out that small-business employers can pretty much define their own rules, as long as they put them in writing and notify new hires of how things are done in their domain.  Not only that labor authorities don't look into employment conditions of companies with less than 50 employees, but, even if one or another wrong-doing is brought to their attention, they will take the corporate side as long as there is a correspondent written policy in place.  And think a hundred times before suing your former employer – you may end up staring at a defamation law suit filed against you. 

Now, I have an opportunity to direct my readers to an expert's list of legally permissible ways employers can discriminated both existing employees and job applicants in a business of any size – big or small.  I have previously quoted a veteran employment law specialist and award-winning writer Donna Ballman on the issues of workers' rights.  And, as you can see, her popular blog Screw You Guys, I Am Going Home is a single proud member of my Blog Roll.  I highly recommend for everyone to follow the link below and read her latest contribution to AOL Jobs – the characteristically concise summary of legitimized discriminatory practices.  I guarantee that at least some of them will surprise you.

8 Ways Employers Can Discriminate Against Workers – Legally by Donna Ballman         

What to Expect from a Boss with a Peter Pan Syndrome


Oh, Peter Pan, the “boy who wouldn’t grow up,” he is so endearing in his never-ending boyishness.  He doesn’t care about the adult world problems.  His disregard for the laws of physical and emotional gravity allows him to fly without wings and fight pirates with an uncommon valor; but it also propels him out of the windows of the heart-broken girls: Wendy, and her mother Mary Darling before her, and who knows how many more.  Really, he belongs in his Neverland.

Yet, Peter Pans live among us.  You meet them every day: in your office, on your business trips, in stores and public transportation; you pass them on the street; they may be related to you and you see them across the dinner table.  They don’t soar in the air or prance with swords (well, maybe some of them do).  Nevertheless, their true nature is that of unabashedly cocky young boys ready for adventures.  

Permit me to clarify.  We are not talking about physical appearance here.  People who look 10-15 years yonger than their age, whether because of their genetic make up or because they treat their bodies right, can be very grown up.  I am not talking about those who take part in what society perceives to be “young” activities either.  I actually think that people who never stop going to rock concerts and enjoy parasailing in their eighties are on a higher plane of sophistication.  No, the subject matter here is the psychological immaturity; the inability to accept the reality of the adult world.       

The Peter Pan Syndrome is not officially recognized by the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders.  It’s considered to be a “pop-psychology” term.  In other words, it’s okay to use it in cultural and social context, but no doctor will get reimbursement by insurance for treating this affliction – there is no code for it.  I frequently wonder whether it is a ploy of the closeted Peter Pans of psychology.

Peter Pan of J.M. Barrie‘s story can be recognized right away.  The book illustrators even gave him pointy ears, hinting that he is not quite a regular human.  But in every-day life they are hidden inside people who appear to be all grown up.  Yet, there are certain telltale signs one can pick up right away.   It could be a sports car too small for the owner’s body, or a tan in the middle of winter, or a jacket a size too small for a middle-aged banker, a hipster watch on a wrist of a 60-year-old lawyer, a second wife 25 years younger, a newborn child at 57.  I’m sure you know what I am talking about.  

However, at the end of the day, it’s the personality traits that betray the Peter Pan’s tendencies – the propensity for undisciplined, uncontrolled, irrational, irresponsible, disorderly, intoxicated behavior.  But, like with all archetypes, the negative trends coexist with positive potential that manifests itself as a free spirit, unbound instinct, potential for growth, hope for the future, untamed forward drive.

It’s one thing to handle Peter Pans socially and even privately.  It’s a completely different matter when you are confronted with men-boys in the work place, especially if one of them is your boss.  You have to be very careful: bosses like that think that they are invincible; they believe that they will come out on top in any situation.  They take big risks and trust they can get away with anything.  If they are lucky, their endeavors may lead the company to brilliant successes.  But many of them get smacked against the cruel wall of reality, crash and burn.

One of the most prominent symptoms of the Peter Pan complex is absolute inability to take No for an answer.  Many private-business CFOs deal with the childish behavior of their bosses and can fill in the blanks in this conversation:

CEO:    I want to…

CFO:    We cannot do this…

CEO:    Why not? (like a 10-year-old)

CFO:    We don’t have…  And it’s against…  We will jeopardize…

CEO:    I want to do it anyway… (like a 5-year-old)

It’s very difficult to find the right way of dealing with an intelligent and talented person, who looks like an adult, but frequently falls into the pits of the child-like stubbornness.  The only thing you can do is to be constantly aware of the reality of the syndrome.  Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Let me leave you with this popular culture example.  Mark
Zuckerberg, a student at Harvard University, threw a tantrum like a
3-year-old boy in a sandbox, when his girlfriend dumped him – he called
her mean names and told her secrets to the entire nursery school.  Then he ran out and slammed the door behind him as hard as he could. 
The result of it was the creation of a network that pervaded the lives of
hundreds of millions of people all around the world and made him the
youngest billionaire.  Now, he will never grow up – he never got a
chance to face the real world.  He went from childhood into a fantasy
land.  He boasts that he wears the same thing every day.  So, does Peter
Pan – the protective uniform of a boy who will never grow up.

Job Search: Unemployment & Depression


At the end of February, The Ladders featured Debra Donston-Miller's article Depression is Making Unemployment Longer, which reiterated the well-known fact that unemployment walks hand in hand with depression and anxiety, and that, in turn, diminishes your ability to get employed. 

It's a vicious circle, you know.   A person looses his job – that's on its own is a hard blow to his ego.  Nevertheless, he gets right on all job boards – Monster, CareerBuilder, etc.  – posts his resume and applies to every single opening that matches his qualifications.  As time goes by, he keeps lowering his expectations – now applications go out to jobs with smaller titles and lower salaries.  Still, the response is not too hot.  

Nowadays, the statistical probability of converting applications into a recruiter's or hiring manager's interest is around 2% for high-level financial professionals – CFOs, Controllers, Financial Directors, etc.  The national numbers of people not being able to find employment in one, sometimes two, and more years are scary. 

While you are waiting for the sparks in the dark, your spirits get lower and lower.  You become listless, loose interest in everything – depression really kicks in.  The anxiety of not being able to support yourself when the savings and unemployment compensation run out gets overwhelming.  You swing between over-hype of appraising your possession for possible liquidation and inability to move a muscle.

Still, you force yourself to apply every day, you do your networking, ask people around.  Finally, quantity turns into quality: you've sent out 100 resumes and someone finally called you.   You've had a positive response after the phone interview and now you are going for a face-to-face appointment.  Anxiety floods you – the workspace environment, which you have not experienced for several months, seems so alien to you. 

You are prepared, though – you are a seasoned executive with superior qualifications, a likable person, well-spoken, know how to handle yourself.  The interview seems to go well, but there are so many candidates, and you might have said something wrong just because the depression and anxiety ate some of your confidence away.  Every day you wait for a call back, but nobody ever does; nobody even sends an email to let you know that you did not qualify – people don't do those sort of polite things anymore.

Now, you are loosing hope altogether: it is more and more difficult to make yourself even to look at the job listings.  It seems like staring at the television screen all day without seeing what's on is a better option…

You know what?  I am not going to tell you that it will get better.  I am not a fortune teller.  I don't know it, but neither do you.  Yes, it's fucking tough out there!  As I always say,  we live in a new economic reality.  The truth is that you may need to rethink your entire life.  But you cannot let the depression eating away your time.  FIGHT IT!  Do you know what happens with every single day you waste on giving in to nothingness? It disappears and you will never get it back. 

The Ladders' article quoted cognitive behavioral psychologist Deb Brown, who suggests creating a routine for yourself as one of the helpful tools.  My readers know how big I am on time-management and routines.  Whether you are fighting the unemployment depression or job frustration, scheduling your time and filling your day with meaningful tasks always helps.   And when you are unemployed, you have an opportunity to do things that you never had time for before: study Spanish with that Rosetta Stone pack you've got for your birthday two years ago; transfer all those home videos onto DVDs, get yourself fit.  

You don't really need more than two-three hours a day to look for new openings and apply.  Spend the rest of your free time (FREE TIME – when do we have it otherwise?) catching up on your life.  And don't be a prisoner of your schedule either – let go of it for a day, when you feel frustrated.

And listen, even if things with employment never get better and some drastic decisions will need to be made, at least you will not need to look back at the long stretch of a complete misery right before that.       

The Boss Who “Cares” aka The Hypocritical Bastard


ClassicStyleHypocrisyMeterHey you, hard-working people, regardless of your profession, stature, or rank! I am talking to all of you!  Beware of "NICE" BOSSES!

You know the type – he always smiles at you, tells you jokes (and laughs loudly himself), asks about your family (sometimes even during first interviews), says "thank you" at the end of the day, declares that he wants everyone who works for him to be happy, claims to keep your opinion in high regard.  

This is all BULLSHIT!!!  This boss is a liar and a hypocrite!  Don't think for a second that because he acts like that on the surface, he really cares and will do right by you in terms of things that really matter, i.e. create material (compensation, benefits, working space) and moral (respect, recognition) stimuli for you to work harder and feel satisfied with your own performance!  

In fact, this faux exterior should be taken as a first sign of a shitty character.  There is an old proverb that applies perfectly here: "He makes a very soft bed that will be hard to sleep in."  The only person such a boss cares about is himself!  At the end of the day, all that huggy, phony warmth is just for him and him alone.  And because people like that lie to themselves the same way they lie to others, he goes home honestly believing that he is a swell guy and a wonderful boss.  He simultaneously pats himself in the back and jerks himself off.

 But when it comes to serious, important staff…  This is the guy who will fight you tooth and nail for every penny of raise or bonus you want to give your direct subordinates at the end of the year.  It doesn't matter to him that you only want to reward those who applied themselves the hardest, grew, learned, developed, and that you keep it all within the budget.  He'd rather double his own withholdings (for being so wonderful!) than reinforce the merit.  In fact, he will say, "Didn't we pay for her plane tickets when she went to her grandmother's funeral?"  Yes, we did – you suggested it to  be "nice."  So, now you think that was in lieu of the annual performance bonus?

And this is the guy who will reply to every great proposal from the members of his executive team, writing the exclamation-point emails: "Thank you!" "Great idea!" "Brilliant!" But he will never green-light the actual implementations.  You will see the mean gleam in his eyes every time the life proves you right or someone on the outside of the business confirms that you understand it much better than he does.  If that happens, he will enter a crazy cycle, competing with you all the time, even though he is the boss and, therefore, already won by default. 

I believe that the best working environments are created not by cuddly fakeness, but by indiscriminate fairness, accommodation of professional growth, and respect of achievements (the principles I myself exercise).  If that's impossible to have, I prefer an honest brute instead of a "nice" hypocritical bastard.  In this economy (or, as I call it "new reality") only a few of us get lucky and find "better" jobs.  The rest must tolerate whatever hateful things they are forced to experience.  And that's Ok (there is no such a thing as a "perfect" job anyway), as long as you face the reality with the full understanding of the situation and don't get fooled by appearances.