Like many other people exposed to human congestion and the environmental deterioration of big cities, I got hit by a terrible flu. So, for quite some time I could only summon enough strength to drag my ass to work (THAT show, of course, must always go on). Hence, as reactions to the Golden Globes broadcast go, this post is definitely outdated. On the other hand, my sentiments are unlikely to change, so it’s just as well…
Nearly every time I go abroad, I am exposed to various degrees of anti-American attitudes. Last time I was entering London’s National Gallery, I had to watch American flags being set on fire on Trafalgar Square. In most European countries, economic and social difficulties are openly blamed on the US by both official and popular opinion-makers. People shamelessly gloat every time we have a natural disaster and entertain themselves with predictions of our imminent economic and moral destruction. Even in Amsterdam’s coffeeshops (aka hash bars), where the consumption of various cannabis products is supposed to make customers laid-back and agreeable, the hostility flares up at the sound of an American accent. I’m not going to venture into the anti-US mood swings of many Asian, African, and Latin American Nations – it would require a separate series of posts.
Individuals and nations alike have a need to absolve themselves and blame someone else for their troubles. The wealthiest country in the world full of fucked up crap (as a true patriot I never deny problems) makes for an easy target. But why don’t they first stop going to McDonalds, watching our movies, googling, and tabulating in Excel? And, please, stop blaming us for Justin Bieber! He is Canadian, for crying out loud!
The truth is that there is only a small contingent of people in the world who are capable of forming their own opinions even about matters close to their own homes, leave alone those far removed. The majority, like a flock of sheep, rely on judgments presented by someone else through various media outlets. Make no mistake: foreigners are just as susceptible to the brainwashing powers of newspapers, magazines, and TV as our domestic masses.
Prominent journalists and commentators have a tremendous influence on the attitudes of their nations, especially in smaller countries. Moreover, it’s a reciprocal relationship: as reading and viewing audiences become more receptive to particular sentiments, the media purveyors cater to their likings in order to retain their own popularity.
Enter Foreign Press… In general terms, any journalist who lives in the United States (the definition applies to any country, actually), but works for a public medium abroad, reporting on our domestic events, is a foreign correspondent. These journalists, most of them expatriates, impact the way people in other countries view America.
They usually conglomerate in major news hubs: New York City, Washington DC, Los Angeles, etc. In fact, I believe that New York Foreign Press Association, formed in 1918, is one of the oldest of such organizations. Yet, not too many people know about it.
However, many people around the world know about Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), even though it counts as its members only 93 journalists. Or, at the very least, people know about the awards they have been granting since 1944 for achievements in film and television – the Golden Globes. These reporters write on the subject that is most likely to attract the largest audiences – the United States entertainment industry. They represent 55 countries in Europe, Asia, Australia, and Central and South America. Wikipedia estimates their combined readership around 250 million (!). And, boy, do they have an agenda!
I can probably write another dissertation breaking down the clever and camouflaged ways they perpetuate their purposes: why Argo and not Zero Dark Thirty; why Les Miserables and not Silver Lignings Playbook, or Moonrise Kingdom; why Homeland (even though 100% deserving, but also perfectly fitting in their scheme) and not Boardwalk Empire; why Episodes and Smash and not Curb Your Enthusiasm and VEEP. Why on Earth did they completely ignore a 2012 movie that not only celebrated the resilience of human spirit, but also raised a bar of creative filmmaking, while breaking the walls of the Hollywood bastion – Beasts of the Southern Wild?
Of course, I am not planning on writing a thesis. I just want to dwell a little on one question: Why the fuck did HFPA shove two Golden Globes into the grabby hands of Lena Dunham? Obviously, they had their reasons.
If one tries to think logically about this, it seems doubtful that the middle-aged-to-quite-old journalists from Egypt, Philippines, Japan, China, Russia, and Brazil would pay any attention to a tiny show about a group of youngish hipsters, especially the one with ratings too low and viewership too small even by cable standards. But our own self-absorbed hipster-driven domestic media, in their unforgivable ignorance and blind confusion of values, served up Dunham as an overbuzzed gift. A handful of people with similar backgrounds proclaimed her to be the “voice of the generation” they really know nothing about. And that’s a very dangerous claim.
HPFA took notice; rejoiced; said, “Much obliged!” and started parading this embarrassment to the whole world. Look, they say to their 250 million readers in various countries, these characters are what all young Americans are like: navel-gazing, purposeless, severely limited in their abilities and skills, obnoxiously bad-mannered, insincere, unaware, incapable of squeezing out of themselves one true emotion or an original thought. This is the American Future.
By allowing them this opportunity, Dunham did a great service to the foreign entertainment journalists. Therefore, she has totally deserved her two Golden Globes. By letting her climb on stage at the Beverly Hilton Hotel twice, they exposed her as a “new American entertainment and media darling.” Look, they say, this is the person hailed as a breakthrough by culture commentators and “intellectuals” (God, forgive me, for calling them that!), talk show hosts, Hollywood producers, the art community and whatnot. They adore her, while in reality she is:
A “creator” without an ability to imagine characters, situations, or plots. She can only transfer to paper and/or screen her own personal existence or the lives of the poor exploited mother-fuckers who got caught into her sticky cobweb. If there is a need to invent something genuine, it’s Jenni Konner (the actual coiner of “the voice of a generation” label) or Sarah Heyward to the rescue. On a few occasions Dunham ventures out of her comfort zone of the first-hand experiences, she steps right into the fuzzy cloud of her girly fantasies with an explosion of silliness. I swear, the only time Dunham made me laugh out loud was during the 5th episode of the 2nd season – what buffoonery! Honestly, in comparison, the wetly dreaming Dunham makes Stephenie Meyer look like a real creator.
A ” writer,” whose first published work will be a self-help book. What? No secret collection of innocent and fragile early poetry? Every respected author has it somewhere in their most private drawer. Of course, it probably wouldn’t garner a $3.6 million advance. The real literature never does (see Arts and Entertainment by the Numbers – Books).
An “actress,” who couldn’t memorize her acceptance speech lines – the only winner of a Golden Globe with a piece of paper in her hand.
A “comedienne,” who tries to be funny by reminding her fellow nominees how much younger she is and telling them that they helped her through middle school. Even though, I have to be honest – I cannot complain too much about that, because it gave Tina Fey a chance to write the funniest line of her career to date: “Amy, I know you since you were pregnant with Lena Dunham.”
A “director” incapable of overcoming her personal feelings and give some screen time to her other “lead” characters, cutting out their best tidbits (which are just a few to begin with). You are right, Howard Stern, “she hogs the screen,” and I have no idea what kind of strings she pulled to make you recant your true opinion of her.
A chameleon, who changes her attitudes depending on her PR management’s recommendations. First, her characters were “reflections.” Obviously, she was told that they were not very sympathetic. Now she says that the “girls” were exposed as being self-absorbed on purpose. The show gets criticized for being too white. Instead of admitting that she really has no people of color in her life, she throws Donald Glover into her hodgepodge… only to cast him away after two episodes. The PR whispers into her ear that she comes off as too sure of herself in all her interviews and talk-show appearances, and she starts screaming about her “confidence issues” every time she gets a chance. Seriously? I know quite a bit about self-doubt. You don’t fool me.
A “nice girl” (as proclaimed by all), who in her conversation with the former It Girl, Miranda July, for Interview magazine openly admitted that she was a complete asshole as a school girl and a college student, and that now she adapted an equally “sweet” disposition towards everyone without any discrimination. Apparently, some people get confused assuming she is their friend.
A conniving manipulator, who undercuts all reasonable critics by calling them haters or qualifying them as shallow: “I’m a real person with a real body and that’s why you don’t like me.”
What can I say? Even if the foreign press was a dark-magic cabal, they couldn’t conjure a better poster girl for their purpose of showing the American future in the worst possible way.
Now, let’s see. Do Girls’ characters actually represent any portion of the 43 million Americans ages 20-29? Yes, they do – 800,000 hipsters residing in the big cities on the East and West Coast, who faithfully watch the show (the other 3 millions of viewers consist of the hipsters’ parents, the media, and the cultural pundits). That’s less than 2%!
Does Lena Dunham, who takes her voice (plus, face and body) of the generation role very seriously, actually represent anybody at all? Yes, she does – a handful of privileged kids, who were empowered by their well-connected parents to do whatever they wanted and were handed undeserving opportunities by the mafia of Nepotism.
And the saddest part is that dear Lena is not going anywhere. Nowadays, award-winning shows scattered all over the place: broadcast networks, FX, Showtime, etc. To keep the statuettes’ numbers up, HBO will continue pouring money into products that attract foreign and domestic media attention, whatever the reason. They just picked up Dunham’s new show idea for development. In return, she will keep upholding her family tradition by shoving her crap into everyone’s face.
Look at that photo! This is what she does: like a fucking hamster on stilts she wobbles on the red carpets and in the back rooms, trying to imprint herself on as many “players” as she can, making the foreign press and their readers very happy.
The Frustrated CFO 