Tag: Bosses

How Far Can They Push Us?


The post about infringement of freedom in the workplace generated further discussions among my peers. 

Some people actually said that I made them very depressed by putting into words realizations they try to avoid.  I would like to remind these people that the Welcome page of this blog, Reason to Share, clearly expresses my belief that sharing frustration gives us therapeutic relief.

Others felt that my "uplifting" statement that one can always quit was clouded by the suggestion that most CFOs and Controllers cannot afford to do so.  Indeed, I keep talking about how difficult it is to find a CFO/Controller level job nowadays.  That's why I don't suggest quitting without lining something else up or having sufficient funds to keep yourself afloat during the job search.  The truth is, you need to establish an emergency fund anyway – as I always say, there is no such thing as job security for anyone in this new world.

But let me tell you from my own experience, there comes the time when you just know you cannot deal anymore.  You are so frustrated, anxious, depressed, angry and hopeless, you cannot breath.  No matter what you do to get a grip, it feels like your balance is slipping away.  If that's the case, it is time to make your move, because otherwise the suffering is going to destroy you either psychologically, or physically, or both.

I have many stories about people pushed too far and, hopefully, I will be able to tell them here at one or another point.  However, for this particular post I decided to use, as means of a more familiar illustration, a Hollywood classic by Billy Wilder – "The Apartment" (1960). 

The main character (forever great Jack Lemmon) is not a CFO or a Controller, but he is an ambitious person and the gist of the story is very relatable to subordinate employees on all levels.  You see, he really wants to climb the career ladder.  So, he lets the VPs to use his apartment for their extramarital encounters.  He even lays out snacks and liquor for them to enjoy. 

When he allows himself to be convinced by his boss to leave his apartment on  a rainy Christmas Eve, he is angry and frustrated, but he keeps his mouth shut.  And finally he gets that "big promotion" he'd wanted.



Jack's character falls in love with the elevator girl.  He doesn't know that she has been to his apartment with one of his bosses as well.  When the moment of truth finally comes, he feels so overwhelmed, he realizes that he cannot be a doormat anymore.  The time has come to be a human being.



So, gives up his job.  Of course, as in all Hollywood fairy tales, he gets the girl (an adorable Shirley MacLaine) as a reward for his courage.  But it does not matter: rewards or not, everyone has their own threshold of pain tolerance.





 

Why Are Ex-Bosses Mad at Us?


Daruma People complain to me about not being able to get in touch with their old bosses.  This means they are talking about business owners. 

I have not heard of anybody having problems like that with their former supervisors from large companies.  After all, those people are subordinates of their own bosses too.  Unless you have spat into his coffee mug or slept with his wife, the two of you should still be on good terms.

It's a different story with Owners/CEOs.  Some may ask, why do you want to be in touch with them?  As the matter of fact, for many reasons.  I've already addressed the references issue (see my post from a month ago CFO's References Trap).  He (I am talking about an archetypal boss now) may have a networking connection you crave.  He may know someone you need to contact for your new business.  You liked his attorney and now you need one.

There could be a million reasons.  But you cannot reach him.  You emailed, you left messages with his assistant and/or wife, you tried to contact him via mutual relation…  No response!  And that fucking hurts! 

You have toiled 60-hours a week for him, you grew his business, you made him richer, you saved his ass from troubles numerous times.  Hey, you pulled him from the verge of bankruptcy and complete destruction!  Hell, it's his fault you are not his CFO/Controller anymore.  You are the one who should be mad at him!

And the funny things is – other people who worked there adore you.  They tell you how great and important you were to the entire company, how much they've learned from you.  Yet, the person who benefited the most from it, doesn't even want to acknowledge your existence.

Now, let's put emotions aside and think about it with our cool, rational financial minds.  There are obvious reasons for your ex-boss to be mad at you:

1.  You warned him about troubles that may befall his business and did your best trying to cover the risks, but he didn't listen to you.  Now, history proved you right.  Do you really expect him to talk to you and acknowledge that?

2.  Even before your ways parted, subconsciously he knew your were the smarter one.  Secretly he hated you for that.

3.  In his mind he expects to hear, "I told you so."  He has no clue that your decency would never let you do that.

4.  If he contracted and managed to save the smaller version of his business, in his head he probably blames your absence for his inability to grow back. 

5.  He had to hire three people to replace you and still they cannot keep up.  Whose fault is that?  Yours.

6.  And that secretary of his…  Well, let's not go there.

If any of these scenarios apply to your case, I guarantee, he will never talk to you, even if he needs you desperately.  He is the BOSS – he cannot put the ego aside the way we always do.