Tag: Dealing with People

CFO Folklore: An Insult of the Month


-1After a long period of solicitation, due diligence, term sheet amendments, and credit agreement negotiations, a company finally closed a new multi-million dollar credit line with a major national bank. Now, it's time to build working relationships with different departments: the CFO is busy establishing communication channels with the treasury services, trade finance, foreign exchange, collateral control, and so on, and so forth. There are conference calls, meetings, lunches.

This is an introductory period for both sides – a short lull between the stormy deal-making and the times of daily grind that lie ahead. There is not much business yet to discuss, so the conversations, especially during lunches, turn to probing each other's backgrounds and chatting about general topics.

During one such first-meet lunch with yet another banker, the CFO, a person of broad interests, talks about this and that, displaying familiarity with various subjects.

Banker (in a very friendly, non-offensive, even appreciative tone): You know a little about everything, don't you?

CFO (waiting for the second part of the expression, but none is coming; so she takes offence): Well, that would make me very superficial, even shallow. I assure you that there are a few areas of knowledge within and outside my professional scope, in which I can claim in-depth expertise.

They look at each other silently for a moment than move onto a discussion of the bank's operational features, both hiding their own grudges.

The Frustrated CFO's situational analysis:

My personal experience of dealing with American bankers throughout my entire career is that the majority of them are not overly bright. I assure you that I am not saying this out of disrespect – it's just a fact of life. The European banking is altogether a different matter. Overseas, the banks are smaller and the profession itself is still considered to be a prestigious occupation, even if you don't deal with investments and make million-dollar bonuses. Some of the European bankers I know graduated at the top of their classes and were recruited right out of the business schools. Ours – they are mostly average.

That's why I think that at the crucial moment of a split-second decision, the CFO went the wrong way. These mental "forks in the road" present themselves in our minds all day long. Sometimes we make right decisions, and sometimes (most of the times, for some) we don't. Looking at the situation from the outside, I gather that the banker did not mean to be brash. She was just limited. Most likely she only remembered the first part of the frequently paraphrased and transformed saying – know a little about everything and a lot about something, and used it, inappropriately, to complement the CFO's erudition. You know, it's like one of those bushisms, "Fool me once – shame on you, fool me – you can't get fooled again." You cannot take that kind of stuff seriously.

The Frustrated CFO Takes Lessons from Karl Pilkington


Images Karl Pilkington of Ricky Gervais Show and An Idiot Abroad has nothing to do with CFOs and Controllers.  Nevertheless, his unconventional wisdom, profound understanding of how bizarre life is, and unwavering ability to stay calm, deserve recognition in this blog.  After all,  the majority of issues we discuss are related to coping with the overwhelming strangeness of our professional existence, and human behavior.   Moreover, we look for the ways to get rid of our anxiety and frustration, and Karl has a good grip on his emotions and an admirable attitude towards life.  Watch the video at the the end of this post and you will see what I am talking about.

It is difficult for over-educated and jaded people like us, who spent their lives doing what was expected, to take lessons from someone who accepts life as it comes and is not afraid to voice his unusual opinions.  Karl Pilkington possesses the truthful innocence that we either never had or lost in the early stages of our childhood through severe parental and educational brainwashing.  Nevertheless, considering how frustrated most of us are with our lives, we should definitely try.  So, here are five lessons The Frustrated CFO draws from Karl Pilkington's wisdom.  None of them are profound breakthroughs and you probably knew them to be true already.  It's just that we frequently forget these truths, while Karl lives by them.

1.  If you keep your cool and don't refuel attackers, they stop pretty quickly.  We see Ricky laughing at Karl's every sentence, calling him names, etc.  Karl just sits there with Zen calm, not even smiling, or saying anything back.  The attack dies very quickly.

2.  If you don't retaliate people's insults, you automatically get yourself on the sympathetic side of the argument.  Ricky calls Karl an idiot, an empty-headed buffoon, etc.   We never hear a single crass word back.  So, what happens?  People say that Ricky is "soooo mean"  and everyone loves Karl.

3.  If you criticize a group of people instead of attacking a particular individual representing that group, it will have a much better effect.  When you address faults of one person they get offended and stop listening.  When you speak about shortcomings in general terms, people think its not about them, but subconsciously may recognize their own traits.  Karl never says "my doctor," or refers to his local Chinese restaurant.  So, instead of attacking an employee whose lack of urgency drives you insane, or throwing accusations of oppression into someone's face, we should find a right moment to talk about laziness and bullying in general.

4.  You can speak your mind and cover up your harshest statements with innocent humor.  Of course, this one is hard – not everyone possesses a sense of humor, but I found for myself that a smile alone goes a long way when you make severe statements.

5.  This is the hardest lesson to learn.  If you manage to unclog your mind of politically correct, pre-programmed bullshit, you can unlock free-thinking abilities that you didn't suspect were inside your head.