“We Are Good Bosses,” Says One Boss to Another


Screaming BossSo, that's how these people manage to live with their own shitty selves!  They walk around with a clear conscience; with no doubt in their souls about their actions.  They don't think about the injustices and the insults of different caliber they spread around with every step they take.  They don't even qualify them as injusticies and insults.  Instead, they pat each other on the backs and tell themselves that they are good bosses!  Their self-delusion probably goes even further: I am terrified to think about it, but they might have convinced themselves that they are good people.  Honestly, the idea of these people going through their lives thinking that they are saints makes my skin itch on the inside.  

To tell you the truth, I prefer honest assholes, like the ones whose primary traits are itemized in the list provided by the Time's article attached on the bottom of this post.  They are at least somewhat conscious of their attitudes and  justify their behavior with the "business necessity."  You know: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do – that sort of thing.  I also think that self-aware bastards are less casual with their cruelty.  Unless they are real sadists, they apply it knowingly and, therefore, sparingly.  

The conversation quoted in the title is not an allegory: I actually had the misfortune of witnessing it.  I had to summon all my will power not to burst out laughing at these jerks.  I've had pangs of suspicion that many business owners felt good about themselves, but this was the first time one of them actually voiced such self-deception in my presence.  Why was it so bitterly funny?  Because, the statement was prompted by their finally adapting a pension plan they promised their employees two years ago

These are employers who pick favorites and treat them with an obvious preference, while discriminating against others.  They forget to disclose new commercial initiatives, thus forcing everyone to run against time in order to turn their ideas into business realities.  They will not hesitate to make a "good-natured" joke at an employee's expense or brazenly comment on someone's deficiency.  The list can go on, and on, and on, and on…  What can I say?  Swell guys! 

But let's see.  What are (in my opinion) the attributes of a really Good Boss???

1.  Fairness and objectivity; no bullshit like, "I don't like that bitch's personality, so I don't care if she's going to leave, even if it'll hurt my company."

2.  Dedication to a merit-based system of rewards comprised of both tangible and moral incentives.

3.  Intelligence and business acumen that perpetuates the company's success and keeps employees gratified that they don't work for an incompetent idiot.

4.  High performance standards applied equally to everyone – first and foremost to his/her own work.

5.  Capacity to fully comprehend the abilities and  values of their direct reports.

6.  Sufficient organizational savvy to match subordinates' abilities with functional tasks.

7.  Acceptance of personal responsibility as a job-creator and human-resources leader.

8.  Strong emphasis on the development of employees' know-how and professional growth.

9.  Balanced combination of delegation and efficient supervision; none of that hands-off micromanagement crap I write so much about.

10.  An actual effort to understand people working for the company.

11.  Sufficient tact and self-confidence (!) to prevent casual personal insults, usually resulting from deeply seated insecurity.

12.  And this one is just for me: For once in my life I would like to work for someone with a good memory, because I'm fucking fed up with their forgetting time after time the stuff I say, write, and report to them.   

So, my dear business owners and other chiefs, try to test your performance against the criteria above and see how you do.  None of the "good bosses" I know would score enough for a "D" grade.

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Politics & Promotions: Gil Grissom vs. Conrad Ecklie


  Images I cannot really call myself a CSI fan.  I think in eleven years they've released over 250 episodes (!) and I watched maybe 25 or so.  It was enough to familiarize myself with the protagonists and even the first level of secondary characters.  Their dynamics piqued my interest.

After all, the Crime Lab is a workplace and many actors on the show portray co-workers.  Even though they are government employees, the operational localization makes CSI and the human conflicts within similar to a small business.

One antagonistic relationship between two characters I consider archetypal.  It is applicable to any workplace. I am talking about professional devotion  vs. careerism as represented by graveyard shift supervisor Gil Grissom on one side and Conrad Ecklie on the other side.   

It is not that Ecklie is a complete professional failure or a wicked person.  Not the sharpest pencil in the box or the most advanced scientist around, he is good enough.  He is spiteful, but not diabolically evil. He puts all animosity aside when Nick Stokes is in trouble (in the episode conceived and directed by Quentin Tarantino).  Still, his priorities are clear and they have nothing to do with being the best at what he does.  His ambitions are all about getting ahead in the organizational structure, and he will do whatever it takes to achieve that.

On the other hand, Grissom is a brilliant scholar whose life's purpose is to never stop learning.  The puzzle of crime investigation is his passion.  His rise to the shift supervisor position had occurred without his doing anything but the best job he could. 

In one of the episodes I've seen, this exchange between the two took place:

Ecklie:        "You kept the sheriff out of the loop, that's a career killer."

Grissom:    "That's your problem, Eckley, you view it as a career."

And that says it all.  So, what happens?

Ecklie consistently rises from dayshift supervisor, to Assistant Director to the Undersheriff of LVPD.   Grissom, even though a PhD and a star in his field, holds the same title leading his team until he retires and goes to Paris to teach in Sorbonne.

Obviously, I feel very strongly about this issue – I despise self-promoting careerists who climb up the ranks not because they are the best at what they do, but because they don't step on anyone's toes and know which ass to kiss at the right moment.  You, with all your knowledge, intellect and diligence have no chance against them.  If promotions and bigger salaries are rewards and it's the mediocre Ecklies who succeed, it means that the merit based system fails.

Whatever was the real reason for William Petersen's departure from the show, the viewers are to believe that Grissom is happier now.  But he did leave the job, to which he devoted a big chunk of his life.  And so did I – at one point in my career I left a job I liked because someone else undeservedly got ahead of me.  It wasn't easy.

 

New CFO, Same Staff: Inheritance Problems


Ok, let's leave our bosses alone for the time being.  Let's talk about us as bosses.  In our multi-functional lives as CFOs and Controllers we frequently end up with more direct reports than CEOs/owners.  There are accounting managers, finance directors, budget and analysis groups leaders, PR, AP, AR, IT, and so on.

Let's say you are making a career move and just accepted a position with XYZ, Inc., replacing a departing CFO.  In a dreamy corporate fairy tale you should be able to do what our newly elected presidents do – form your own cabinet and move in with your faithful acolytes. In real life… you inherit somebody else's staff.  Moreover, you have to quickly immerse and keep the business going.

The subsequent events can play themselves out in three possible scenarios:

1.  Without giving the existing operations a real dissection under a microscope, you simply learn how everything functioned under your predecessor, decide not to change anything even if you find the old ways inadequate or wrong, and continue in the same fashion.  The effect: good for the staff – no changes, no new things to learn, no old habits to break; bad for the company, your employers and ultimately yourself – inheriting diseases without attempting to treat them will assure your failure.

2.  If you are a responsible and knowledgeable person with an impressive background and enthusiasm for your new job, you will study all aspects of functions under your control, diligently, but without prejudice; find errors, shortcomings and blind spots; apply your expertise, and develop improvements and innovations plan.  And then you will face incredible resistance from your inherited staff.  It is very natural: humans are resentful of changes.  They will give you very hard time, no help and mountains of frustrations.  Just because you are great at finance and accounting, it does not mean that you are good at managing and educating people.  If you don't have patience and sufficient skills to overcome the resistance in a positive way, you will end up firing a third of the stuff and another third will leave on their own.  The rest will stay, but you will never gain their trust and support.  The worst part – by replacing former employees with new ones, you will loose the continuity of the departmental knowledge.  

3.  Under the best case scenario, your professional and managerial skills are equal.  While you sifting through processes, functions, policies and procedures, you must study the people.  What motivates them? Do they know their jobs well? Are their duties properly matched with their abilities?  Psycho-profiling is one of the most important managerial skills.  Try to discern the personality traits of your employees.  The personnel strategy should be part of your improvement plan.  Find people who are interested in positive progress, explain to them how the new developments will benefit them, show them the big picture (for more on this subject see my post Big Picture and Staff Training) and make them your agents of change.  Then you can claim the successful transition.